JESSLYN

2008-03-13T18:11:00.000-07:00

2007-06-12T23:04:00.000-07:00

And I wish I'm there to share all your ups and downs.

2007-03-12T12:35:00.000-07:00

HTTP://JUSTJESSLYN.LIVEJOURNAL.COM

I will only add you back as a friend in LiveJournal if I know who you are.
If your identity is not clear, I won't add you back (And you wont be able to read my friend-protected entries).
Like I said, I only want my friends to read them..
So to those who added me and I havent added you back, please tell me who you are first..
Thank you very much. Goodbye Blogspot :D

2007-03-10T17:12:00.000-08:00

I have a new blog! Where I will blog about my personal feelings.
Which means that I won't blog about my feelings here anymore.
Hahaha maybe sometimes I don't know, but I will still blog here!

The new link - http://justjesslyn.livejournal.com

Probably 80% of the time it will be friends protected entries.
Which means that only my friends who add me in LJ can read them :)
My darling friends, just add me in LJ if you want to read them.
That's the reason why I love Livejournal.

Just wanna say:
Thank you Justjesslyn.Blogspot.Com for serving me for the past 15 months.
Thank you for letting me vent out everything.
Thank you for being the one I can turn to when no one is around.
Thank you for sticking through all my ups and downs.

And also:
And many thank yous to all that have been reading my blog all these while.
I don't know why you guys read my boring blog, but I appreciate it.
Thank you for all the care and concern for me, all of you.
Thank you for always showering me with love.
Thank you for bothering to read my blog and my life.
Thank you for all the tags and messages and emails.
Thank you to all my friends, and to all those I don't know who reads this.

2007-03-10T00:14:00.001-08:00

Was reading the emails Babyboy sent me last time.
He's ever so sweet <3 Muacks I love you boo.

2007-03-09T15:14:00.000-08:00

Had a long talk with Baby yesterday. I love you so much boy.
I realised that I'm so different than who I really was last time.
It's like I'm a totally different person, & I dont recognize myself anymore.
I'm gonna change, back to who I was, back to the cheerful me.
The happy and optimistic girl, the girl who loves to laugh & not cry.
He misses that girl. The girl he fell in love with.

I know that Baby loves me, and I love him so much too.
I've never for one second doubted your love for me Baby.
But I know that there are so many things that are coming between us.
If he's meant to be mine, he'll be mine..
If he loves me and wants to be with me, then he's mine.
If he stops loving me and wants to leave me, I'll accept it graciously.

Because, why should I hold on to someone who doesnt love me?
Why should I force things to work out?
Love is not meant to be like that. Happiness can't be forced.
Love doesn't mean that we have to be together.
Sometimes, life is just not that perfect.
Sometimes, things does not turn out the way we want it to be.
I'll be happy as long as you are Baby.

Even though I so want to get through this with you together,
Even though I want to spend the rest of my life with you so badly,
Even though I love you with all my heart and soul,
Even though I want to be the one who brings you joy,
Even though I want to take care of you forever,
I will let you make the decision.. The decision is in your hands.

I know you told me that I will never ever lose you.
You told me that we will stay together for always..
But Baby, I just want you to know this:
No matter what choice you make in the future,
I just want you to know that I will never ever stop loving you.
Maybe you'll decide to leave me, maybe you'll stop loving me,
But I will never stop loving you cos you are someone so special to me.

I've sorted my thoughts out, and I'm going to be a strong girl.
I'm not going to let myself get trapped in this evil world of pain.
I'm not going to lose the battle, I'm going to be strong.
Maybe I have lost faith, but I'm going to regain it again..

Baby, I just want you to know that I love you.
And I'm sorry that I have been this way for the past three months.
I know you said it's not my fault, but I'm still sorry.
I know I have been unreasonable & crazy & oversensitive at times.
Okay okay, maybe most of the times. (I'm sorry)
And you took it all. You always took it, and comforted me.
I love you Baby. You will always be my boo :)

Like you said, "Once one boo leaves, the other one will die."
And you said that I'm your one and only boo forever..
You said that there will only be one boo in everyone's life.
And I promise you I will never leave you.
I will only walk away from you if you decide to leave me.
Love.. You taught me how to love someone unconditionally.

Missing my friends and sec school and jc.
They're my source of joy and laughter :)
I especially miss those basketball/soccer times.
I miss those soccer matches so much..
And what happens after every soccer match :)

Those happy moments we shared.. We'll go back to what we used to be.

And I will love you so, for always.

2007-03-08T21:44:00.000-08:00

Don't know what to feel, what to think, what to trust, what to believe, what to say anymore.
I'm losing faith, I'm losing trust, I'm losing my mind, I'm losing myself.
I wish someone would just kill me, take me away from this world, take me away from all the pain.

GL says he'll rather I lose my memory than suffer all this pain.
Will you be there to stay by my side and take care of me if I really lose my memory?

randy. says:
everybody complaining that u are never online
randy. says:
everybody
randy. says:
it is like a discussion topic
randy. says:
fix your internet right
randy. says:
if not the "did u see jesslyn online?" will cont

I'll fix up my internet soon :)

2007-03-05T01:21:00.000-08:00

Demi cinta.

2007-02-28T11:57:00.002-08:00

I am so sick and tired of everything.

2007-02-24T16:12:00.000-08:00

Aku bisa terima meski harus terluka

Karena ku terlalu mengenal hatimu

Aku telah merasa dari awal pertama

Kau takkan bisa lama berpaling darinya

Ternyata hatiku benar

Cintamu hanyalah sekedar tuk sementara

Akhirnya kita harus memilih satu yang pasti

Mana mungkin terus jalani cinta begini

Karena cinta tak akan ingkari

Takkan terbagi

Kembalilah pada dirinya

Biar ku yang mengalah

Aku terima

Ku tak bisa terima

Bila terus tak setia

Menghianati dia

Menduakan cinta

Ternyata hatiku benar
Cintamu hanyalah sekedar tuk sementara
Akhirnya kita harus memilih satu yang pasti
Mana mungkin terus jalani cinta begini

Karena cinta tak akan ingkari
Takkan terbagi
Kembalilah pada dirinya
Biar ku yang mengalah
Aku terima

2007-02-21T11:30:00.000-08:00

I will finally fix up my internet connection next week, and yes I will be online more often then. I have survived without internet for two whole weeks (except when I'm trying to kill time in school during my two-hour breaks). Who says I'm too dependent on internet? I'm so proud of myself! Hehehe.

Anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERRIK! :D
I know you had the greatest surprise party last night and you obviously enjoyed yourself to the max. Don't you just love all of us, Cher? Hehehe finally 21 and finally legal huh! Marina Del Rey-ians rocks!

Weekend over at SF was fun fun fun. Made quite a few new friends. Went go-karting, had nice Chinese New Year dinners, shopping and all. Finally met my two cousins Andeline and Anthony after months. And I finally get to sit in a Porsche after seventeen years of my existence. I still want my very own Lamborghini though hehehe.

Is loving someone and being faithful such a difficult task?
Akhirnya kita harus memilih satu yang pasti..

2007-02-18T17:22:00.000-08:00

Bagaimana mestinya
Membuatmu jatuh hati kepadaku
T’lah kutuliskan sejuta puisi
Meyakinkanmu membalas cintaku

Haruskah kumati karenamu
Terkubur dalam kesedihan sepanjang waktu
Haruskah kurelakan hidupku
Hanya demi cinta yang mungkin bisa membunuhku
Hentikan denyut nadi jantungku
Tanpa kau tahu betapa suci hatiku untuk memilikimu

Adakah keikhlasan dalam palung jiwamu mengetukmu
Ajarkanmu bahasa perasaan
Hingga hatimu tak lagi membeku

Tiadakah ruang dihatimu untukku
Yang mungkin bisa kusinggahi
Hanya sekedar penyejuk disaat kulayu
Ku setia menantimu hingga akhir masa

2007-02-17T13:36:00.000-08:00

So many things have been happening these few days. And I'm in San Francisco for Chinese New Year right now! Haha will blog a long post when I have internet. Hehe byebye.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!
I LOVE LIM SENG CHYE!

2007-02-14T00:35:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day.

Why don't I share the same joy and excitement everyone has for this special day? When all my friends are enjoying themselves and spending this special day with their darling loved ones, I'm spending it all alone. In school and at home. Alone with no family no boyfriend no friends. Alone thousands of miles apart. Alone 16 hours away. No presents, no chocolates, no cookies. No joy, no fun, no love. No calls, no emails, no smses. Only baby and Shu-Tzu actually called me to wish me happy Valentine's day. And only Melinda smsed me. I'm such a loser. And a loner. I'm drifting away from everything and from everyone. I don't know why I'm holding on to everything I have back in Singapore. Life goes on, friends come and go. Why do I always expect every single one of my friends to stay by my side? I feel like I've lost so many of them, majority of them. I should start making new friends over here before I become a loner in the super near future. Whatever, I can just go and die. I'm so tired of everything. I'm tired of being so far away from everything i own. I'm tired of school. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of crying everyday. I'm tired of getting my heart broken. I'm tired of driving myself crazy. I'm tired of thinking. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of living in fear and pain. I'm tired of life. I'm so tired and I'm losing my strength.. And no one is there to hold me up when I'm falling. Because I'm alone.

I'm being an emo shit.

2007-02-12T14:06:00.000-08:00

First day of school! And I'm in school blogging while waiting for my sis and Di to come and fetch me. (Anyway I still don't have internet connection at home, which explains why I haven't been going online or updating my blog.) SIGH my head hurts so bad due to lack of sleep last night. The good thing about this semester is: There are quite a number of cute guys in my classes! Haha at least for the two classes I had today. WOOHOO motivation to go to school huh! :D

Bought my Economics textbook for USD$65. SIGH and my textbook for Business class costs $120!! Every semester I spend like USD$300 on school books. And the queue for the book store is so super duper extremely long! I'm so not going to stand under the sun for at least one hour to buy my books. I have a feeling that this semester will be tougher than last semester. And I'm still wondering, what major should I take? Finance? Marketing?

I'm missing my babyboy so so much.. And hey, we've decided on a date to get married - 21 May 2015! All of you are invited HAHAHA!
I love my babyboy/ dear/ darling/ love/ sweetheart/ cupcake/ booboo/ goldenegg/ dumbdumb/ bigbadwolf/ fiance/ hubby/ mrlim!! <3

2007-02-09T18:34:00.000-08:00

We both know, it's better if we just let it go.

Moved house. Goodbye Plaza, hello Marina Pointe! This new apartment is much bigger - probably more than twice the size of our previous apartment. And I love the fireplace! (Sounds so cool right? Haha) Moving is a really tiring job and I'm half dead. Been doing alot of packing and unpacking. And my back feels like it's going to break. But while packing the stuffs, I felt so super loved - reading all the letters my friend wrote to me, and all the presents that they gave me.

RANDY! NOW THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS YOU LOVE ME! AND HENRY TOO! Don't kill me okay hahaha. School starts in 3 days' and I really can't wait. I'm bored out of my wits. Oh yeah, O levels result was released yesterday and I'm so proud of my friends who did so well! :) Congratulations my dearest friends, who are satisfied with their results.

Let's stay here for awhile, and cherish every moment we're in denial.

2007-02-06T00:02:00.000-08:00

Baby when the miles are growing
You and I will still be going strong
No matter what your friends are saying
Don't give up on what you're waiting for
Cuz one day I'll be knocking on your door

Don't you guys just hate field camps?! #@!$%*@^!)!&
I miss my boyfriend I miss my boyfriend I miss my boyfriend! ♥ It's bad enough that we are so far apart, and now we can't even talk to each other. Aaah sexyboy, call me soon will you? (HAHAHA baby just called me. Telepathy huh!) I love it too when we say/do something at the same time baby. And like you said, we're meant to be together. Yes we are boy. Hehe muacks!

My sleepy boyfriend looks so adorable :)
Dumb dumb, come home soon okay. I miss you like crazy HUGS. I love you my one and only darling fiance. And you're the only one who can bring such great joy into my life. We will get through all the obstacles ahead of us, and we will both fight those who try to break us up together. Nothing and nobody can ever break us. Nothing and nobody can destroy the special love we share. Nothing and nobody can ever come between us. I love you darling.

That's my babyboy in the nest - Made of 24K SOLID GOLD k! Hahaha he's my precious golden egg and I love him to bits. Don't crack okay baby! At least not when I'm not there. HAHAHA you know what I mean booboo. HUGS love you so so much baby! We will be together for the rest of our lives and we will stay together forever darling. Just us and our four little kids :)

Credits to LuluBerylium from Deviantart.
I think her works are really funny. I don't know why I chose these three out of her whole collection. Haha maybe I know why. Okay, whatever. I'll post a couple more next time. Hehehe I need to continue packing now cause we're moving out in about 8 hours' time. Sigh goodbye dearest Plaza. I'll miss the gym and the jaccuzi and the Starbucks and the Ralph's. I'll miss staying so near third street and Santa Monica Beach. And I will really really miss walking to school and walking home from school.

Cause even if I am
Halfway around the world
That won't stop me from loving you
Halfway around the world
I'll still be feeling the way I do
Now I wanna hold you baby
Cause I'm gonna miss you like crazy
Even if I'm halfway around the world

2007-02-05T13:10:00.000-08:00

Because I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach our toes in the sand
I can see us on the country side
Sittin' on the grass laying side by side

Watch this superduperuber cute video - The Cuppycake Song!
I won't be online for the next few days or maybe a week because we're moving out to our new place tomorrow, and we got to fix up the internet connection and stuffs too. (Meanwhile keep my tagboard alive so I won't be so upset?) Been doing a lot of packing these few days and I'm so tired. Feels like as if my neck and back are breaking. Baby come help me lah! Hahaha take care of yourself at field camp k. HUGS I love you so much my dearest baby boo. You're my one and only love. Thank you for being so sweet darling.

Guess what? I've decided to swear off horror movies from now on. Hahaha I'm not going to watch horror movie anymore. Well, at least for a period of time. Don't ask me why, and don't laugh at me Steph. Hahah ok anyway, I broke my nail and I got a terrible blue-black, which has became worse since last week. SIGH bloody irritating. And we've been eating alot of (fattening) food. Eg: 500-calories-per-slice pizza was what we ate for dinner yesterday. And double YAY, there's 24 and Prison Break tonight!!

On the brighter side of things, we have finally talked through things nicely. And we have promised each other some stuffs. (Baby, remember that promises are not meant to be broken.) Yes, we know we'll get through this together, as long as we both do our part in this matter. I'm beginning to trust you again, so please don't do anything to jeopardize it baby. I love you boo. "I'm engaged already. I have my fiancee. No other girl will come along. There's only you baby. I'll love you with all my heart." Remember that? HUGS I love you baby fiance.

Where's the other half, darling? :)

2007-02-04T14:09:00.000-08:00

I'm not deaf and all I hear are your empty promises

I feel sad and hurt and scared and confused and upset and alone.
I don't know what to do, what to feel and I'm so scared of losing you.
Hate being so far apart from you. I want to go home and be with you.
Why does it have to be so hurtful? Why can't we just be happy?
Remember the promises you made, and don't ever break your promises.

I hate liars. I hate cheaters. I hate two-timers. I hate heartbreakers. I hate self-centered people. I hate people who don't keep their promises.

Why do I love you like I do
Like I always do
You should have told me
Why did you have to be untrue
Why do I love you like I do

2007-02-03T22:46:00.000-08:00

I read this from Nicole dearie's blog and I've decided to share it with everyone.

When we text a heart over the phone, it looks like this : <3
In mathematical terms, it would mean less than three.
Thus love is meant for less than/not equal to three people.
No wonder Love does not work out when there's 3 or more people.

It's so funny how so many people is asking me for angbao for Chinese New Year because they say I am married. Haha you guys gotta ask my dearest husband man! And don't forget we have to save up to support our four little kids. Hahaha ♥

I love you darling boy. And I'm sure we can work this out as long as we're both willing to. I'm trying hard not to be so cynical about all these and I'm also trying hard not to think so much about everything. But you have to do your part too alright? Please don't lie to me anymore darling. HUGS I love you so much baby. And I want to stay by your side forever and ever :) KISSES!

We went to watch "The Messengers" yesterday. It's quite scary for a Hollywood horror movie. Haha and I think that the small boy is super super duper cute and I love him so much and I feel like pinching his chubby cheeks and I can't wait to have a baby boy of my own. Hahaha darling, our kids will be cuter right? Cause their mum is so cute. Heheh HUGS!

(This picture is so scary, but I love the boy!)
This video is uber sweet and it almost made me cry. I love his voice, and I want to share it with everyone even though most of you have probably watched it. (Baby when are you going to sing a love song for me? Hahaha)

Hinggaku pasti menunggu, selama apapun itu
Demi cinta yang kurasakan, yang hanyalah kepadamu

2007-02-02T01:50:00.000-08:00

Haruskah ku mati karenamu
Terkubur dalam kesedihan, sepanjang waktuku
Haruskah kurelakan hidupku
Hanya demi cinta yang mungkin bisa membunuhku
Hentikan denyut nadi jantungku
Tanpa kau tahu betapa suci hatiku
Untuk memilikimu

My broken heart just broke into a million smaller pieces again.

-

Trust is the foundation for intimate, secure and successful relationships. It must be earned and maintained with consistent actions. But building trust and feeling like your partner is trustworthy is not always easy for those who have had their trust betrayed. Once your trust has been violated, it's difficult to make it viable in your relationship again.

I need time and I need you to help me to regain that trust I used to have in you. But how can I do it when you are still doing things that hurts me, that breaks my heart, that kills me inside? I need you and your love now more than ever. Will you be there to stand by me? Will you be patient with me? Will you keep to your promises? Will you stop hurting me? Will you love me wholeheartedly?

The next few weeks or months is going to be tough for the both of us, especially since we are so apart. But I guess it will test the strength of our love. If we truly love each other, I believe we'll get through this tough time together. I will stick by you baby, as long as you're by my side. I love you boo, I really do. And I will never ever do anything to hurt you. I will hold your hand and walk with you, as long as you want me to. I will love you and care for you and support you for always, as long as I live.

Remember the video I made for you darling? I meant every single word I said in it. I will stay by your side, for the rest of my life. I will love you wholeheartedly, forever and ever. I will bring you happiness and joy, now and always. I will stay with you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. For better and for worse, I will love and cherish you. My love for you is true, and this I promise you.

Broken promises, but you don't really mind,
It's not the first time and you know it, don't you know?
Tell me why it is you only smile inside,
But when you break me into nothing, don't you know?
It's not like I haven't tried over and over again.

'I love you's does not mean anything. It's what you do for the one you love that matters. And that is the only thing that counts: Actions.

2007-02-01T11:32:00.000-08:00

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

I don't know why I can't stop thinking and crying. My head is throbbing because of all the thinking, and I feel sick. I have never ever been this way before. Have never cried for weeks and weeks. Have never felt so much pain inside before. I guess now I know, what they mean by getting your heart broken. The pain is really unbearable. And the pain never seem to subside. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help myself. It hurts so much it drives me crazy.

But baby, I still love you, with all my heart.

-

Can't believe it's February already! Which means that school will be starting soon. (Chinese New Year and Valentines Day are coming soon too!) To be exact, school is starting in 11 days time and I can't wait to go back to school again. I sound like a super nerd but seriously, I'd rather go to school than waste my time doing nothing (which I have been doing for about a week). Spent the whole day of yesterday rewatching 24 Season ONE. Hahaha and besides, school plus homework plus tests will keep me occupied so I won't think so much and drive myself crazy with all the haunting thoughts.

Woke up at 6:30am this morning to chat with my favourite boy on the phone. It's been so long (3 days!) since we had a nice long chat and I miss him and his sexy voice and his cute laughter so so sooo much. Hahaha and baby asked me to go back to sleep before he went to bed so that we can meet each other at the usual place we meet in Dreamland. My baby boo is ever-so-cute right? HUGS I'm so in love with you darling boyfriend, and I will always love you with all my heart. Take care of yourself baby. I'm always thinking of you ♥

Me and Min Ru - Nov 2005, After our last O levels paper. Haha HONEY I miss going out with you. Remember how much fun we had on that day? We shopped like crazy and we spent such a long time at Toys R Us and we had so much fun and laughter together. HUGS honey, I want you to be that Min Ru okay? The happy and cheerful Min Ru once again. I love you girl, and there are sooo many people out there who cares for you too. I'm always here for you if you ever need me. It's not going to be easy but you're going to get through it alright? And I'll be walking by your side, holding your hand, for always. Because you are my one and only honey, and one of my besterestest friends. Cheer up my dear girl, I wanna see you smile! I love you so much honey.

HOT GUY OF THE DAY: NICKY BYRNE!

He's oh-my-goshly-sizzling-hot with such a cute boyish look! And he is such a loyal guy who married his long term and childhood sweetheart girlfriend four years ago. They've been dating for ten years! Okay I just find it really cool cause it's kinda rare for people to marry their childhood sweetheart nowadays. (Maybe my brother and Cherie can get married in the future too HAHAHA) Kay, back to the point. Don't you agree that he's oh-so-hot?

If tomorrow never comes, would you know how much I love you?

2007-01-31T08:35:00.000-08:00

Part of getting a second chance, is taking responsibility for the mess you made in the first place. And, don't ever make promises you can't keep.

Clifton wants me to blog again because he's bored. Yeah I know my blog is entertaining. Hahaha alrighty, I shall just post up a few pictures for you guys (and the ass Clifton) to admire. Haha and this picture of me and Jerlin is taken one year ago and I miss my hair!!

-
Had lunch/dinner at Hooters with my sister, Diandra and Lily yesterday!

Seriously, there is one difference between the waitresses in Hooters in Singapore and USA. Those in Singapore are skinny and well, boobless. While those in USA are kinda chubby and has big boobs. Hahaha I'm not a pervert okay! (Clifton, shut up) It's just so obvious, I can't help noticing it. Okay women aside, look at how yummy (and sinful) the food are! And we ate crepes (banana, strawberry and chocolate!!) after that but I forgot to take a picture of it. Hehe and it's super yummy too. Went shopping after that, but I didn't buy anything. I couldn't find the Zara blazer SIGH so depressing. Jacuzzi-ed with my sister after we got home. We were smoking hot, literally. There was smoke rising from our body!

Didn't manage to talk to baby today. Haiz. Which means I haven't talked to him for 24 hours. I really hate it and I feel like crying. I miss my baby so much. And I don't know why there's this fear lingering in my heart. Darling I can smell you everywhere.. I even smell like you cause I'm always hugging/wearing your jacket. And it hurts so much because I can't hold you tight. Because I only can hug your jacket, and not you. I miss talking to you. I miss the long chats we have on the phone. Can your field camp faster end please? HUGS and please come here soon darling. Come here and join me for university just like you said alright? I love you my one and only boo. And I will love you forever and ever ♥

Steph's in school right now and she'll be in school for the whole day (as in really the whole day, from morning to night) and I'm so freaking bored. Seriously, I'm rotting my life away over here. All I've been doing is watch 24 and Prison Break, blog like mad, chatting online, smsing and talking to babyboy, sleep and eat. (By the way I haven't been crying for two days and I'm so proud of myself!) What a meaningless life. I can't wait for school to start seriously. And I can't wait to go back to Singapore again!! Don't know when will that be though. AND, I HAVE BEEN CRAVING FOR SWEDISH MEATBALLS FROM IKEA. But Ikea is soooo far away. Been craving for it for one whole week! SIGH I'm deprived of balls. Hahaha alrighty, this shall end the post.

HOT GUY OF THE DAY: JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!

More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cause I'd already know

2007-01-30T06:35:00.000-08:00

I forgave, but I can't forget.

I really want things to work out between us, which is why I gave you so many chances over and over again. Truth to be told, I haven't regained trust in you yet. Everyday I have to stop myself from letting my thoughts run wild. I tell myself that yes you love me, and you're trying to let her go just like you said so. I tell myself that after a while, you will be mine and only mine. I tell myself that yes we will last forever, just like how you promised me we will. It's all making me so deranged. Even though it's hard at times, but I'm trying really hard to not go crazy. I want to trust you with all my heart and soul, like the way I used to. And yes, trust can't be earned overnight. But you have to do something to earn my trust. Baby if you really do love me, you will do whatever it takes to salvage our relationship. The decision is in your hands, because you are the one who have to make the choice - it's either me or her. And if you choose to be with me, I don't want you to have anything to do with her anymore. I really want things between us to be how it used to be. The ever-so-happy us who never ever quarrels. The fun loving us who always tease each other. The loving us who always talk for hours on the phone and webcam. The us who always have fun, joy and laughter together. The us who loves to sit with each other in silence, just looking at each other and listening to the radio. I love you boy, and I just want you to be happy. And honestly, are you happier with her?

You and your silly smile :)

-

HOT GUY OF THE DAY: WENTWORTH MILLER!

Have I ever mentioned how freaking HOT Wentworth Miller is? Everyone should watch Prison Break. It's the nicest show ever (Besides 24 of course). And you can see the gorgeous Wentworth Miller who never fails to melt my heart. Besides being so gorgeous, he's bloody smart too. He graduated from PRINCETON University. I guess it runs in the blood because his parents are both geniuses who graduated from YALE. Gosh, I love Wentworth Miller and I can't believe he's 35 bloody years old cause he looks like he's 25 or something. I love Wentworth Miller! But I still love Jay Chou more. And of course I love my baby Lim Seng Chye most ♥

Clifton, I can't believe we chatted on MSN for six whole hours!

2007-01-29T10:24:00.000-08:00

Yes, I changed my blogskin again. Even though I really really love the other blogskin (and I actually prefer that one because this one is kinda dark and gloomy), but I chose to use this blogskin because it's based on the song "Till The End", which is our song :) Chose this blogskin cause of my darling boyfriend. Don't get addicted to this song alright. Because it's me and my boy's song. Hahaha I love you my boy ♥

Haven't talked to baby for one whole day (a whole 24 freaking hours!) cause he's having fieldcamp. Sigh. I miss you so much my favourite boy. Take care of yourself alright boo. I can't wait to talk to you again, and I'm always waiting for your call darling. I miss your sexy voice hahaha. I'll wake up at whatever time it is just to talk to you HUGS. Time, please pass by quickly so I can talk to my baby again. And so that I can see him and hold him once again. And so that baby will come over here for university soon.

(OMG baby just called me! ♥ )

Went shopping yesterday and the sale at Zara is totally outrageous! It's unbelievably cheap and I wanted to buy this white blazer (which was on sale) and it only costs USD$25! What the heck?! But they don't have my size and I was so upset. Sigh never mind. Then we watched a movie: Stomp The Yard. It's really good and there's a superrrr hot guy in the movie. Heh heh actually all the guys have pretty hot bods, cause this show is related to dance/stomping.

Okay I shall end this post with a picture once again.

21st May 2006. A special day for both of us :)

All these precious moments,
With you by my side.
Must be a gift from heaven,
That’s holding me all night. 
I dont know how i found you,
I'm thankful that i have.
That i have a love so true,
To hold, to keep, to share.

In my heart, I can no longer hold inside.
All of the love i used to hide.
I'd always be with you until the very end.
In this world, there is no place I'd rather be
You are my life my soul, my world.
And through it all, i know you'll come to see.
That you're the one, till the end.

All my friends around me,
Say you'll be gone too soon.
Baby, i'm gona make them see,
We've found our way back home.

In my heart, I can no longer hold inside.
All of the love i used to hide.
I'd always be with you until the very end.
In this world, there is no place I'd rather be
You are my life my soul, my world.
And through it all, i know you'll come to see.
That you're the one, till the end. 
We'll always be, till the end.

2007-01-28T23:17:00.000-08:00

I LOVE MY BABY BOO!
Let's stay together forever ♥

We have our fair share of good times and bad times, but I know that we will get through everything together. Only you can make me so happy and I feel so lucky to have you by my side. No matter how bad things ever get in the future, I know we will always stick by each other. Through thick and thin, for always. I love you babyboy. (I love you more than most!) And I will love you so, for the rest of my life.

No one else can make me feel like you do.
You've shared my world.
Baby thats the reason why I love you.

-

I read this from somewhere and I just feel like posting it here in my blog because I feel it's true :

"you know, sometimes, even though u really feel someone is "the one", you still gotta let go if you're unhappy. because you're depriving yourself of a chance for urself to be happy. you're holding on to a relationship purely because of memories, and the fact that you feel so attached to the person cos you guys have been together for so long. is that love? no. love isn't merely holding on to the past and refusing to let go even if it makes u unhappy to hold on. we gotta be strong and let go of a relationship that isn't working although we really envisioned ourselves marrying the person initially. because seriously, sometimes, people have to move on, and it is only this way that u can find true happiness with someone you love and loves you back. someone who makes u smile just by the thought of them, and someone who you love despite his/her flaws. you just gotta know when to let go."

Letting go isn't easy, but sometimes we just got to do it.

2007-01-27T08:18:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry boo, I love you so much :'(

-

I BLOODY HATE WEEKENDS.
And I'm feeling the fear.

Thank you everyone for your sweet lil messages / for scolding me and asking me to wake up / for letting me vent my sadness and anger on you / for doing all the sweet lil things to cheer me up. I really appreciate every single one of you, and it really did make me feel a lil better. I especially want to thank Randy for everything you have done - for always talking to me online and telling me to take care and cheer up, for always telling me that there are so many people in Singapore who are worried for me and who are supporting me, for the retarded and funny videos you let me watch (and you promised that there will be more coming up!), for the oh-so-nice pictures you emailed me to cheer me up. Thanks for being so sweet, and I'm not gay Randy. Haha and thank you Clifton for the thought of shipping the oh-so-gorgeous flowers for me! But USD$75 for flowers is really not worth it, so please don't waste the money. I thank God for all the sweet angels he brought into my life.

This is the funniest video EVER. It's not like the "No Pork" video (so racist and so childish) that has been going around the net lately. This video made me laugh so hard I teared. And it really brightened up my morning, a lil. Or maybe a lot :) Heh heh thank you for showing me the video Clifton!

And a oh-so-cute baby with his super contagious laughter.

Not forgetting the funny video of the S403 guys chair-racing in class.

And they did it twice.

And I miss Taufik Batisah. Haven't talked to him and haven't met him for ages :(

If a man could be two places at one time, I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.
If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,
I'd spend the end with you.
And when the world was through,
Then one by one the stars would all go out,
Then you and I would simply fly away.

2007-01-26T02:31:00.001-08:00

(MUST WATCH!)

iPhone - the coolest shit ever.

-

Why can't you just put yourself in my shoes and understand how I feel?

Darling you gotta let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I'll be here till the end of time
So you got to let know
Should I stay or should I go?

2007-01-25T03:24:00.000-08:00

EDIT: I seriously dont know what the hell you want from me, but let me tell you it's seriously driving me nuts. Please stop doing this to me. Please.

-

I wanted to tune back my biological clock to LA's time, so I decided not to sleep yesterday and I spent the whole night watching the new season of 24 and Prison Break (And driving myself nuts thinking about some stuffs, sitting on the couch and staring into space and crying like a mad woman - Yes, I seriously think I'm falling into depression again). Then at 9am in the morning, I decided that I really need to get out of the house because otherwise I would drive myself crazy thinking about things that I do not want to think about. So I took a shower and left home. Walked to third street (Which took me about one hour but I didnt even realize it because my mind was so occupied), and I window-shopped alone for the first time ever. I actually liked it. Maybe I needed some time alone that's why. I window-shopped for about four hours (And I think I know what to buy for baby's birthday which is coming up really soon) before baby called me and asked me to go home because it's unsafe. Headed home, read my novels, slept at 4pm and woke up at 12 midnight because I was so extremely exhausted. Shit, my plan failed. So I think I'm not going to sleep again tonight (And hopefully I wouldnt be crying again).

By the way, I want to change my blog link to: http://supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.blogspot.com But Clifton objected. Hahah I love that word, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, it's a nonsense word which means fantastic.

A picture to end off today's post:

(I don't know why the picture quality is so sucky)

2007-01-24T00:24:00.000-08:00

I'm suffering from serious jetlag. (And I'm suffering from serious depression.) Just got up at 9:30pm because I only managed to fall asleep at 12 in the afternoon. Spent the whole night and morning watching 24 and reading the novel baby bought for me and flooding baby's phone with smses and blogging. Heh heh. By the way it's really terrible, and as such, I have decided not to sleep today so that I can tune back my sleeping time! Will probably be watching my favourite show of all time - 24. Heh heh Jack Bauer is so freaking COOL!

Been rotting at home for the past two days. I'm going to start packing all the stuffs at home cause we're going to move out soon. Bored out of my wits. Seriously what am I doing here - rotting my life away - when I can be in Singapore spending time with my family, my babyboy, and my darling friends? This sucks sooo bad. I hate it here and I can't wait for the 4 years to pass by quickly so I can go back to Singapore and settle down there. I've been updating my blog pretty frequently cause I have nothing else to do. I need a life. Even my sister says I need one too.

I'm going crazy. Why does life has to be so difficult? Why does loving someone has to be so hurtful? Why can't anyone just love me wholeheartedly and stop dating someone else when they are going steady with me? Why why why? I'm officially nuts, trust me. I can't stop thinking I can't stop crying I can't stop hurting. I need to get out of this house. I need to get away from everything. I wish I can just leave this place, leave this world, leave all the pain behind.

Baby I miss you so much. Haven't had a proper conversation with you for more than 24 hours and it's all because of the stupid outfield. ARGH I hate being so far apart from you. My heart is so empty without you here, and everything seems to be lifeless without you baby. Hurry here darling, I can't wait for us to go to university together. HUGS baby you know that I still feel insecure at times, and that's why I need some reassurance from you. I know you love me and you know that I love you, and baby sometimes you need to make sacrifices in love. I don't expect you to let go of her immediately, but it's been more than four months baby. I feel that I've given you enough time, but you don't feel the same. Perhaps we shouldnt have even started this relationship when you were still hung on to her. We should have waited, until you're totally over her. But what can we do now. We can't go back to the past can we? I don't know what else to say to you cause you probably wouldn't do anything about it anyway, but I just want you to know that I will always love you with all my heart, and I promise you that. I just hope you will feel the same way about me too. <3

I really don't know how much of this I can take any longer. I think I'm breaking down really soon.. Someone please help me get through this. I think I have fallen into depression - Just like how I did 4 years ago.

2007-01-23T00:43:00.000-08:00

I slept for 16 HOURS yesterday night.

I just broke my own record! Haha but I was really tired and perhaps it was the jet lag that caused me to sleep that long. Woke up a couple of times in between when baby called me though. Sorry I didn't talk much cause I was probably still halfway between dreamland and reality. You know how much I miss you and how badly I want to talk to you. HUGS I love you my dearest darling sweetheart boo.

The apartment is reallllly messy and gross. Luckily we'll be moving out in two weeks time, so I got loads of packing to do in the meanwhile. Everyone's having classes and I'm bored out of my wits, so you guys would probably see me online like 24/7 and my blog might be flooded with more posts :D Btw, Min Ru called me just now to tell me something uhm, funny. Or rather, yucky. I don't know what word I can use to describe it! Haha but seriously it's uhm, something I'd rather not see. Heh heh I know you love to see it honey.

And dearest Min Ru honey, remember this: You are a strong girl. Life is full of ups and downs, full of bumps, full of trials. But you will get through this because you have so many people around you who loves and care for you. Like what I said to you before, I am always here for you no matter what. Because you are my honey and I love you. I want you to be happy my dearest girl, and I know it takes time to get over this. It's hard, I know, but it's possible. HUGS don't lose your faith in love, my dearest honey.

Talked to darling best friend Melinda on the phone just now. I miss that girl, and I wish I could be there for her right now. HUGS everything's going to be alright my dear girl. Have faith okay? Relationships are never smooth-sailing and I believe you know that too. He loves you and he will accept everything about you. It hurts me to hear you being upset, so please cheer up girl. You know I'm always here for you and you can call or sms me anytime you want. I love you my best friend for life.

Charlene (I changed it to her name cause her screen name is oh-so-long) says:
omg u two look so disgustingly cute together!
Aaw baby, we look cute together huh? Haha <3

Baby, it's only been 2 days since I last saw you but it seems like forever. I miss you so much, it's driving me nuts. I want to be there to hold you, to take care of you. I want to massage you everytime your body aches because of outfields. I want to just lie on your bed while watching you pack your stuffs for camp. There's so many things I want to do with you darling. I miss hearing your laughter and that twinkle in your eyes whenever I tease you. I miss you making fun of me. I miss going to your place. I miss laughing with you and your brothers while we share lame riddles and jokes. It hurts so much inside baby, and no one understands how I feel. There's mixed emotions deep inside - love, pain, fear. I'm so scared that we won't be able to make it through this. I'm so afraid that you will leave me. I wish you're here to hold me tight, and ensure me that everything is going to be alright. I wish you will love me with all your heart, and let me be your one and only girl. I wish you will do what it takes to make me trust you again. I want us to make it through, because I can see a future ahead of us. But baby please don't ruin what we can build together. You say you love me the most, you say we will make it through this together, you say you will come over to USA for university with me, you say we will be together forever, you say you will always be my baby boy, you say we will get married in Disneyland, you say we will have our four little kids, you say we will live together in Windy Heights after we get married, and I believe you baby. I believe you, so please don't shatter my dreams. I love you my dearest fiance. Forever and ever, till the end.

2007-01-22T11:49:00.000-08:00

As I looked out of the window when the plane was about to land in Los Angeles, I didn't feel the sense of longing and the sense of belonging as I did when I landed in Singapore one month ago. I feel like I'm in a foreign land, and I miss the feeling of being home. I miss Singapore, I miss my family, I miss my darling boyfriend, I miss my friends. Thank you to my darling friends who went to the airport to send me off. I love you guys.

Everything seems to remind me of you babyboy. I cried myself to sleep as I listened to Jay Chou's "Still Fantasy" album onboard. Memories of us just flowed into my mind and I felt the pain in my heart as I thought of how I won't be able to see you or hold you for at least six months. I miss the times we spent together - where there are so much fun and laughter and love. And as I was watching "Almost Love" - the Korean movie we watched together last year - I could almost feel you beside me, holding my hand. I couldn't stop crying. And they had to serve Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream - the one we always ate together. I want you to be there to share it with me.

My phone was flooded with smses (20 of them) from babyboy. There are some that are oh-so-sweet, but most of them makes me want to cry. I could feel the pain he's going through. I'm hurting as much as you my dearest boy. We'll be together very soon alright? I promise you that. I will always love you with all my heart baby. Darling, you might think that you buying the novels means nothing to me, but you know what? It means so much to me. It was a really lovely surprise and you really caught me offguard. I was so surprised, and touched. This little action of yours melted my heart. I love you my boy. Thank you for everything you have done for me sweetheart. I really appreciate it.

I know we will make it through this together, no matter how tough it might be, I will still hold on to you. The distance between us cannot and will not break the love that we share. I miss you and the times we share together. I miss having breakfast/lunch/dinner with your family. I miss the fun and laughter and the retarded things we always do together. I miss just spending time with you, and doing nothing. I miss staring at you when you are driving. I miss you baby. I miss you so so much it hurts so bad inside.

Baby please take care of yourself alright? Especially when you will be outfield for this whole week. I really want to be there to take care of you. HUGS I will love you with all my heart for always, and you know you can trust me on that. And yes baby, we'll get married and we'll stay together forever. All it takes is you and me and love and just a little faith. I love you in a big "let-you-eat-the-last-piece-of-chocolate" way, and I pray that you love me the same way too (:

I hope you're reading this darling HUGS & KISSES.

2007-01-21T23:28:00.001-08:00

I read this somewhere:

"Seriously, I've been crying for days and nights.
Why does he still miss his ex gf even we're going steady now?
Why....
He claimed that he love me so much..
But he still miss her..
I don't have the courage to give him up..
I love him.. too much.
I hope he can forget her..
As my heart bleed..
Waiting for him is like waiting for rain in the drought..
Thus, beyond the bleeding sky.."

And I felt her pain. Because I feel the same way.

2007-01-21T04:01:00.000-08:00

4am in Singapore right now and my flight is in 12 hours' time. I really dread going back to LA, but there's nothing I can do. Cried buckets of tears and my eyes are so swollen now. Finished what's left in the box of tissue and my dustbin is so overflowing with used tissue paper that is soaked with my tears and mucus. My heart is breaking. I miss my babyboy, even though I just left his side 2 hours plus ago, just hung up the phone with him 1 hour ago, and will be meeting him in 4 hours' time. Baby I don't know how am I going to survive without you for months.

2007-01-19T02:20:00.000-08:00

I only slept for a mere two hours on Wednesday night, and there is two reasons behind it. Firstly, I was too depressed to sleep on the night itself and only managed to doze off at 4am. Secondly, I woke up at 6:30am because I was going back to MJC to visit my beloved class and friends. It was all worth it - They gave me a 06S403 class jersey (I totally love it, except that my name is printed as jess instead of jesslyn. It's still gorgeous though and I love our class spirit). And of course, as usual, we took class photos again! And as usual, Mr Hon is mean to everyone again (Heh heh). Even though you couldnt fit into the class jersey, we still love you Mr Hon!

After school ended, the SSSSSS girls went to Tampines Ikea for lunch. We had soooo much food - meatballs, chicken wings, fries, fried rice, chicken pie, cheesecake. And the funniest thing (ever) happened to us. Two of the male cleaners came up to our table and they were so fascinated by us and our jersey numbers, because there were six of us (which means there are six numbers), and that's just the amount of numbers needed to buy TOTO. So they started taking down our jersey number and said that we should come back this Sunday - In case they win, they would treat us to breakfast/lunch/dinner or whatever. It was damn funny. Five minutes after, two female cleaners came over and did the same thing. Everyone was like staring at us! Haha hilarious.

Ziqi left to school for guitar after our lunch, so the five of us walked around Ikea - one of the most fun place ever. It's like a playground. Or rather, a place where we can camwhore like crazy. Darling Iris' camera ran out of battery, so in the end we used my handphone camera (which luckily produces acceptable quality pictures). We laughed so much and posed so much and people were staring at us. But nevertheless, it was fun. Before we knew it, we had already spent more than three hours (almost four hours) at Ikea itself. Laughed so much today, it drained my energy. Thank you girls for the wonderful time. You guys truly rock my world. WE LOVE IKEA!

Went home, showered, slept. I'm sorry I wasn't able to meet you Koon Long. Really sorry. I was super tired. Meeting darling besties Melinda and Samantha today. HUGS!

No matter what I do, you are always on my mind. And there are so many thoughts that haunts me, that I can never ever be 100% happy. It hurts so much, and I dont know what to do. I dont want to think anymore, I really dont. I dont know what to say to you now. I just need you to know that I love you, and I always do. If only things were simpler.

2007-01-18T10:19:00.000-08:00

As I lay on my bed, hugging his jacket and breathing in the familiar scent of him that I love, listening to our songs in my iPod which makes me miss him so much that I became emotional, thoughts and images filling my mind as tears begin to overflow in my eyes, it suddenly dawned on to me. It suddenly became so clear. He was never really mine right from the start.

Happy 28th birthday to my darling husband Jay Chou.

2007-01-17T15:28:00.000-08:00

Leaving Singapore in 4 days' time. I guess I'm having mixed feelings about it. I don't really want to leave, because I don't want to leave everything behind. And I know that when I leave, he will strike again. I'm afraid that it will mark the end of everything. Yet at the same time, I'm happy that I'm leaving. Because I will be happier when I'm over there. It's easier to forget some stuffs, or at least it will be easier for me not to think so much. I can't wait for school to start. As much as school is boring, at least it will keep me preoccupied.

I do cherish you. But why cant you cherish me too?
And it's our fourth month now.
Do you even love me with all your heart?

2007-01-16T04:01:00.000-08:00

muahaha. i just invaded messyjessy's blog. an eye for an eye you see. haha. she invaded my blog too (: hahaha. i'm her beloved smellymelly! haha. omgosh you should go see all the wonderfully sweet things she said to me (:

jesslyn is truly a very special girl. a girl so unlike all other girls. and she's my bestesterestest-est friend! :) cuz she's an owl, so she's always there for me 24/7! x) heh. and it was only after getting to know her that i started have supper at 1am. hahah. plus, riding bike at 2am to her house.. and sneaking out of home when everyone's sleeping.. etc! lol. she's changed me in many ways and influenced me greatly :) gradually, i dont know when, she started to become part of my life. haha. things seem so different without her around.. and she never fails to pop into my mind everyday. haha. it was only when i loved her that i realised how much love i can give to a friend. i never loved another friend like i love jesslyn :) i never cared for another friend like i care for jesslyn. when she's being hurt, i feel so useless and helpless if i'm unable to help her. when she's heartbrokened, my heart aches for her too. i want to give her the blessings that have been showered upon me, just so she can find her happiness again. i want to protect her, and NEVER let anyone hurt her. but regretfully, this is not within my ability.

haha. it feels as though you've been part of my life for AGES. but come to think of it, it has only been 3 years that we've really been friends. haha. it's amazing how things came to be this way yeah :) i'll cherish you always! even when we're grandmothers, we'll still be best friends :) i dont care how far you are away from me. haha. we'll still always stay in contact! haha. you know, when you were in usa, it didnt seem so far away from me, cuz i still recieve your smses, and i still know about your life through your blog (: so it seems as though you're somewhere near. haha. i cant imagine life without you too :) haha. you're the first person that comes to my mind whenever i am faced with difficulties or problems. and i know you'll always be there for me no matter what.

i'll always be here for you too! :) haha. this month you've been shedding alot of tears yeah. i really really want to help you get out of this. whatever may happens, i'll be behind you all the way! haha. cuz i know you're a smart girl who knows how to make her decisions. haha. you're a wise girl who's good at giving advices you know! haha. but when it comes to giving yourself advice, you suck at that sometimes. haha. nevermind, there's always ME to turn to! :) just gimme a call or sms, and i'll come to your rescue! hahaha.

muacks <3 i love you jesslyn:)

BESTFRIENDS FOREVER.

-love, mel:)
("v")
..'v'

2007-01-16T00:17:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOON LONG (:
Thank you for always being there for me, for your care and concern, for your listening ear, for trying to cheer me up when I feel down. I can't believe that I've known you for five whole years. I can say we've been through many things together, and I'm glad that we can be such good friends now. Enjoy yourself on your birthday (besides having to go to school for half a day, heh heh). I'll see you soon!

In a world of my own.

2007-01-15T16:29:00.000-08:00

Why does it still hurt so much? Why does the pain never seem to fade away? Help me.. I cant stop thinking, I cant stop crying, I cant stop hating, and I cant stop loving you. Take all the pain away, just as you promised me. And take my hand as we walk the road of life together.

Sometimes, I just want to run away from everything.

2007-01-15T09:01:00.000-08:00

Was reading through my blog archives and I realise that I was much happier back then in the States rather than when I returned. I thought it would be the opposite. Haha oh wells. I should learn to let go of things that was never meant to be mine. And to let go of those who does not want to stay. I should stop inflicting pain on myself. I should stop torturing my own heart. I should try to live on my own. Perhaps I will be a nun in the future. Haha spending my whole life alone, meditating. Well at least I'll be HAPPY.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be.
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

2007-01-14T04:59:00.000-08:00

I had much fun, laughter and joy the past two days we spent together. It's been two weeks since we last saw each other and I missed you so much. I love you my boy. You are my boo and I am your boo boo, forever and ever. We'll spend the rest of our lives together. Just the two of us. Haha HUGS. We'll always be, till the end :)

I love our white Havaianas slippers.

2007-01-12T07:32:00.000-08:00

I want to be a happier girl. And I'm trying really hard.
Thank you Melinda for being there for me 24/7.

The past month have been a rough rollercoaster ride for the both of us. Every day, I feel the heart-wrenching pain in my heart. Every day, I shed tears of pain for hours and hours. Every day, I sit on my bed and stare in the empty space. Every day, thoughts haunt my mind and drives me crazy. There are so many times I just want to give up on us and walk away from you. But baby, I love you. I love you too much to do that. We will get through this together baby. I know we will. Because you promised me that we will stay together forever, and build a happy family together. And we agreed that promises are not meant to be broken. So please don't break your promises. Because it will break my heart.

Just sitting here with you, holding your hand.
I'm in paradise, lost in your wonderland.

2007-01-10T21:43:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 27TH BIRTHDAY, MR HON !
You're getting older.. Hohoho.

Btw, I WANT AN IPHONE (:
http://www.apple.com/iphone/

2007-01-09T11:21:00.000-08:00

Because, I have given up.
On you, on us, on everything.

2007-01-09T01:06:00.000-08:00

Whenever I feel down, I will think of my babyboy. Every single time I feel alone or upset when I'm in the States, all I think of is you and I will smile. Everytime when I walk to school or when I walk home from school, you're always on my mind. Everytime I feel like breaking down, you are my motivation. You are my motivation to carry on over there, because I look forward to coming back to Singapore to see you. I always think how are you doing, what are you doing, if you're doing alright in Singapore without me. Because it hurts inside me when we are so far apart. But I guess I was being a big fool. Of course he is perfectly fine here. Without me.

I try to make you happy. Even when I was so tired on the 13th November, I still baked cookies for you until 4am in the morning just so that I could leave home at 9am to post it to you, because I wanted the cookies to reach your place by the weekend. Because it was our 2nd month. I was hoping it would make you happier, that it would make you smile, that it would make you feel loved. When I wrote out the list of 100 reasons why I love you, I thought you will appreciate it, that you will feel touched. But I guessed it never really mattered at all. I never expected much from you. Just by talking to you on the phone, it makes me happy. I know that there are times where I would be moody and all, plus you're tired in camp, and it would cause unhappiness between us. But I never ever expected that you would find your source of joy from someone else. I really thought you were faithful to me.

When I was in America, I cry alot. Because I miss you. Because I want to see you. Because I want to hold you. Because I want to be there by your side. Because I want to look into your eyes and tell you how much I love you. Because I want to sit in the car with you again. But when I returned to Singapore, I cry alot too. Because it hurts so much inside. Because I felt betrayed. Because truths were revealed. Because I felt like a fool. Because I thought you truly loved me. Because I thought you really wanted to be with me. But I guess I was wrong. My heart broke.. Into a million pieces. It can never be whole again.

I don't know what to do. This new year doesn't change anything. I'm still heartbrokened, it still hurts so much inside. I still cry every single day. I admit I am paranoid, but I have a reason to be. I don't want to lose you. I love you so much and I want to stay by your side. I want to take care of you for the rest of your life. I still want to be Jesslyn Lim and our four kids. Boy girl girl boy, remember? I still want to live in Windy Heights with you. And I'm still supposed to buy you an evo. And you're still supposed to buy me a Lexus SC430.

But if being with me isn't what you want, if it doesn't make you happy, if your heart has someone else, then you can just let me go and walk away from me. Don't play with my feelings anymore. You always avoid this topic. Everytime I ask you about it, everytime I send you a long message, you will just keep quiet. I really don't know what you want or what you're thinking. But you're not even telling me anything. What am I supposed to do? Sometimes I feel that you don't care about me at all. I need to stop thinking about this. I'm broken enough.

Help me God.. Please help me.

2007-01-05T08:38:00.000-08:00

Triton's the champion! (:

I love Meridian and S403!

Joining the MJC orientation today brought back so much great memories (: Loved doing the mass dance with the hundreds of people. The great loud cheer of Triton and MJC. And of course, the college anthem. It's been so long.. I love MJC (: And I felt so close to my darling classmates. I thank God for bringing them into my life. I feel truly blessed to have you guys. Thank you for everything. I love all of you!

2007-01-04T15:26:00.000-08:00

My darling lovable class S403 called me at 8am this morning ((:
Even though I was so sleepy and everything, but they made me really happy.
They were all super duper cute lar! Passing the phone around the class.
And all of them said the same thing, "Jesslyn we miss you!" ((:
Haha you guys are the sweetest ever. I love you guys to bits!

Happy 18th Birthday, Chun-Chen!

Eh dearest kor, you are OLD already. Hahaha see you later for dinner! Love you tons. Take care k! May 2007 be a great year for you :) Study hard and find a girlfriend lar! :D:D

2007-01-03T14:59:00.000-08:00

Today is the 3rd of January and everybody is back to the routine of dragging theirselves out of bed at 6am to go to school. I miss wearing school uniforms. I miss going to school early in the morning for flag raising. I miss recess times or lunch breaks, which is always everyone's favourite time of the day. I miss hanging out with friends after school. I miss CCHSM. I miss the long walks out of school. I miss smuggling food into class. I miss sitting by the lovely Chung Cheng lake. I miss interclass competitions and Talentime and total defence. I miss S403. I miss the soccer matches. I miss the fun times in class.

The other day when I went out with Michelle, Shu-Tzu, Siyu and Samantha, we talked about how we used to secretly raise our class pets in sec one. How we hide the guinea pig in the box in the cupboard in the cupboard at the side of the class. And there was one day it kept making noise during chinese lesson cause we havent fed it. And our teacher heard it. Haha super funny. Then the whole class were like, "Huh? what noise? got noise meh?" Then since then on, whenever the guinea pig makes noise, Sylvester would bang the table (cause he's the one sitting next to the cupboard). Hahah super funny la. And our class tortoise is still in the Chung Cheng lake :) Our poor fishes are resting in peace.

It's been really long since I posted a proper post like this. I think the three weeks I was here made me a little stronger. Even though I still cry alot, even though I still think of everything, even though I still feel the pain inside of me, I try to enjoy myself during my stay here in Singapore. I try not to let these things bother me, but I admit I fail most times. I've gone a little crazy. There are times where I would accuse him of doing this or that, and I'm sorry if it was just due to my oversensitivity. There are times where I would freak out when he doesn't pick up my phonecalls or reply my smses, and I would start flooding his phone. It's seriously scary. I'm scared myself. I don't know what's wrong with me. I need to control myself. But I just can't help it.

People ask me, "Why don't you just leave him?". I always answer them with the same answer: "Because I love him too much." Even though it hurts so much inside, but I really can't leave him. I tried, and I failed. I need him in my life. I want to stay by his side. I don't know why I'm so in love with you, I really don't. Sometimes I wish everything never began at all. Then at least I would be happier now. But what do I know? If this never started, I would have not experience such great joy in my life. I would not have found the love of my life.

I'm starting to feel emo again.. I need some time alone.

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else.
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself.
I'd rather have hard times together, than have it easy apart.

2007-01-02T03:43:00.000-08:00

I'm sad.

2007-01-01T00:14:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, everyone!

Can't believe how fast 2006 passed.

An overview of the year 2006 :)

1) I found my precious babyboy whom I love so very much. He helped me through a heartbreak. Really hope we can last darlingboy. You've become part of my life and you're my source of strength, joy and love. Stay by my side now and forever k? HUGS you're my one and only.

2) Received 'O' Levels results and was really happy. Received posting of school and was really upset. Haha stupid SAJC didn't want to accept me. So evil! I still love SAJC's school uniform!

3) I attended Meridian JC for three months and was placed into the besterestest class ever, 06S403! And they're the most wonderful bunch of people ever. Thank you guys for everything. I love all of you (plus Mr Hon)!

4) Left Singapore for USA and went to Santa Monica College. Met Jayl & Co. They made life over in the States more fun and enjoyable. Thank you my dear girls.

5) Went to Las Vegas for the first time with my family, and for the second time with the 26 Indonesians and we had such a great time there. I love Las Vegas - it's such a beautiful place. Let's go there together one day darling boy :)

6) Spent Christmas Eve with best friends and boyfriends. And Christmas with darlingboy. Really loved that day cause my most loved people are by my side.

7) Bought a new Sony Ericsson handphone, Sony camera, iPod nano, and MacBook Pro this year. Thank you daddy for being such a nice and generous man. Heh heh i love you :)

8) Received a Gucci handbag and a Gucci watch from my parents. Thank you mummy and daddy. You guys are the best. Love you two! Let's go to Europe for a Gucci shopping spree! Haha.

9) Had the best birthday present ever from my dearest babyboy. Thank you my darling honey baby for the birthday present and the lovely birthday surprise. You made me feel so special that night. I will never forget :) I love you. More than words can say.

I still miss Chung Cheng so much.. I can't believe it's been one year since I graduated from that school. I miss the school, the friends, the fun times we have in class, the teachers, the inter-class competitions, the basketball matches we always support, and everything else. Chung Cheng is the best school ever.

For the year 2007, I wish I could:

1) Be happier.

2) Lose three more kilo.

3) Study harder.

4) Make more friends in USA.

5) Stop spending so much money.

And I only have one wish: For you to stop lying to me and to love me with all your heart.

2006-12-29T00:06:00.000-08:00

The thing I hate the most is being lied to. I really really don't like it cause it hurts so bad, especially when I find out the truth from someone else. And especially if the person is someone whom I trust so so much. It really breaks my heart. The past two weeks have been seriously crazy for me. I don't know what to expect anymore. I'm lost, I'm hurt, I'm broken, I'm sad, I'm alone. There are so many times I want to just scream at you and confront you about everything. There are so many times I want to slap you and tell you to wake up and make up your mind. There are so many times that I just want to walk away from you and leave all the pain behind. But I can't. Simply because I love you. I love you too much. And you know it yourself. I wish you could tell me straight in my face that you don't love me anymore, that you don't need me in your life, that you will still be happy even if I'm not by your side. That way I could leave you alone. I could walk away, no matter how great the pain is. If only.. If only this never started at all. If only I could turn back time. But I know it's not possible. I don't know how long I can keep up with this anymore. I need help. I really do. Can you be the one who fix my broken heart? Can you?

And to the anonymous person, I don't want to be sad either. I really don't. I want to be the happy and cheerful girl that I used to be but I can't. Because it hurts so much inside. It's killing me slowly. I wish I am strong, but I know I'm not. I'm going crazy.

2006-12-28T05:54:00.000-08:00

Rest In Peace, Ci Siska.

My heart is breaking.

2006-12-27T01:19:00.000-08:00

I want to be happy.
Can you make me happy?
Can you stop hurting me?
Can you?

2006-12-26T09:19:00.000-08:00

I'm lost. Again.

2006-12-25T06:20:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

I love my boy and my best friends.
I love my baby and his family :)

2006-12-24T02:33:00.000-08:00

Quoted from Abigail's blog:
kah wee said "jesslyn got slang!"

Haha super funny. K anyway more updates tmr. It's 2:30am now and I'm so tired. Merry Christmas eve everybody! :)

2006-12-22T01:43:00.000-08:00

I finally had some fun and laughter after a week of living in misery. The past week had been a living hell, and I know that my darling friends are worried about me. (Thank you to those who smsed/called/messaged me. Thank you to those who asked if everything's alright. For showing that you care. You guys truly made a difference. You guys made me feel better.) And dearest friends, I don't think I'm going to reply the tags regarding my last few posts. Don't worry, I'm becoming stronger each day. I'll be fine.. I'll get through everything. I know I can.

S403 had a class outing yesterday. Even though majority of the class didn't turn up (either because they are overseas or at work), I still enjoyed myself. Met up with Canphylia at Kembangan at 9.45am and headed down to Harbourfront MRT. I made chocolate bread for her but she didn't eat it. So mean! Haha.. The seven of us - Me, Canphylia, Iris, Junwen, Henry, Kahwee, Wysen - had breakfast at Macdonald's before heading to Sentosa. Rotted there for about three hours before we left for Vivocity when it started to drizzle.

Oh, I forgot to mention that they bullied me! That stupid meanie asshole Junwen especially :( They forced me to ride the skyride thingy at Sentosa when they knew that I am afraid of heights. At first I was scared, then I was terrified, then I cried. They are so mean okay! Cause I was like screaming/crying/babbling, then they keep teasing me about it. Junwen and Henry keep repeating what I screamed. SO MEAN! I was scared okay. You guys are BIG bullies!

Had a little kiddy time at Toys R Us. Then we left to Chompchomp for dinner. The seven of us plus Weiwen, Ziqi, Guoguang, Gerard, Abigail, Cleo. And we had gelato for dessert, which was super duper YUMMY! We took tons and tons of pictures together! Okay, just the girls. We were snapping away with the two cameras and handphone cameras. At Sentosa, Toys R Us, dinner, gelato, bus, and even in the toilet! I bet we took more than a hundred pictures together. And we have LOADS of unglam/retarded/spastic pictures of each other. Especially darling Canphylia. She was teaching us how to make our face smaller HEH HEH :D

Oh on a random note: Me, Ziqi and Junwen wore the same slippers today! The beautiful green havaianas flipflops. We forgot to take a picture together! Haha oh wells :)

I just want to say that, I TOTALLY LOVE MY DARLING S403! <3
Pictures will be up tomorrow! :)

Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day. Love is when you will never do anything to hurt the other party. Because you love her. Because you want to protect her from hurt, and not bring any pain to her. Look into my eyes and tell me that you love me. I want to see the truth. Hug me and promise me that you will never let me go. And remember that promises are never meant to be broken. Hold my hand, and say that you will walk with me for the rest of my life. Kiss my forehead, and tell me that you will never make me shed another tear. Don't do things that hurt me anymore. Because you know how much it hurts/affects me when you do that. It makes me go crazy. It cuts me up inside. You were the one who helped me go through my last heart break. Please don't be the one who breaks my heart now.

2006-12-21T17:23:00.000-08:00

To the superbly nice girl:
(Yes, it's you..)
I really like you. Alot.
Thank you for your comforts.

2006-12-20T00:27:00.000-08:00

Why do people like to break my heart?
Is it that enjoyable to see me cry my eyes out?

Sitting here right all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go

2006-12-19T06:16:00.000-08:00

I hate myself for loving you.
Got a new haircut. Time to find a new boyfriend. Haha, kidding ;)

2006-12-17T20:09:00.000-08:00

Mirror mirror on the wall,

I'm the BIGGEST fool of all.

I have the strangest ways of making friends:)

2006-12-16T20:22:00.000-08:00

You dug my heart out.
Tore it into a million pieces.
Trampled on my torn heart.
Soaked them in salt water.

Wait, that doesnt even compare to how i feel.
Back for three days, cried for three days.

2006-12-15T09:23:00.000-08:00

~~Why is love always so hurtful?~~

2006-12-13T20:18:00.000-08:00

Leaving for the airport now.
Bye everybody :) See you guys reaaaaaaal soon.

2006-12-13T00:31:00.000-08:00

Boarding the plane in less than 24 hours' time!

Flight time: 11:25pm, 13th Dec.
Flight arrival: 11:45am, 15th Dec.

Hello everyone! My last and final paper is TODAY! And it's english, which is why I am so super free right now heh heh. I had stomach cramps today and econ finals was such a killer ;( Oh wells.. Just praying that I would still be able to get an A for it, if not my As from the previous midterms would all be gone with the wind. The great and wonderful thing is that I didn't have to take my math finals today because I already got an A hahaha. I'm so so so looking forward to tomorrow! Not the english paper, but my flight back to Singapore! Oh, I think I'm bringing Krispy Kreme back. If I have the time to buy it tomorrow. Heh heh. I know people like Pearlin and Sammy Kong are desperate for it.

"The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart." Friends.. I truly love my friends :) Because I know that even though we are oceans apart, they would still be there for me whenever I need them. I know that distance won't break our friendship, it will make us cherish each other more. My friends brings me joy. They laugh with me, cry with me, walk with me. It's not merely the time we share together that counts, it's knowing that the friendship is there even though we're so busy with our own lives. It's knowing that the friendship is still growing and not dying. True, we may feel insecure at times, especially when we are feeling dejected. But I always know that my friends are always there for me. Friends sincerely want to know what you have in mind, and even though they might not give the best advice, they would always lend you their listening ear and crying shoulder. Life is nothing without friends.

That's just some random thoughts that has been floating around in my mind. I'm going to continue packing my luggage. And to ensure that I've brought everything back including my handphone/camera/iPod charger. Heh heh I'm SO gonna melt in Singapore! Baby said he's gonna keep me cold hahaha. Alrighty, I want to talk with Babyboy on the phone now. LOVELOVE :)

Oh and, AN UPDATED TO-DO-LIST OF MINE :)

things to do/buy when im back in singapore:
[1] get a haircut and dye my hair
[2] buy a nice and new camera
[3] buy a gucci/dior/fendi shades
[4] shopping spree at zara {hahaha}
[5] take neoprints with my girls
[6] S403 class chalet/bbq/outing
[7] bring baby home! {muahaha}
[8] loads and loads of sleepovers!
[9] major sleepover with canphylia
[10] manicure session with sam ng
[11] x'mas celebration at town!
[12] "24" dvds {season1-6}

places i want to go when i am back in singapore:
[1] vivocity
[2] the cathay
[3] east coast park
[4] windy height's
[5] meridian jc
[6] chung cheng main
[7] city harvest church
[8] far east plaza
[9] cineleisure
[10] marina square
[11] sentosa!
[12] anywhere with you (:

food i want to eat when i am back in singapore:
[1] roti prata
[2] the $1 ice cream
[3] fish soup
[4] fried carrot cake
[5] chicken rice
[6] pastamania
[7] la mian xiao long bao
[8] meepok
[9] bak chor mee
[10] hiphopjelly!
[11] long john's silver
[12] fish & co.
[13] indonesian food!

Oh, and I'm so gonna drink GREEN TEA every single day! :D

It was only 5:30pm when I took this picture!

WITH TRUCKLOADS OF LOVE :)
{ Dexin } Haha I'm perfectly normal my dear. Don't worry heh heh.
{ Ru } Take care honey. See you really soon! Hahah love you tons.
{ Mel } I CAN'T WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS <3 Heh heh. Miss you baby!
{ Passerby } Aaaw hahaha okay.. Miss her all you want heh heh :D
{ - } I wrote that its market structure is monopolistic competition!
{ Jasmine } I'm reaching Singapore this Friday! Hahaha date me!
{ Cheryl } Jahat banget!! Hahaha but I know I'm cute heh heh :D
{ Stef } Paris is such a slut please hahaha! Where's my shabu?!?!
{ Josh } Yeah I'm coming back realllly soon! Hahah can't wait!
{ Nicole } YAY I'm bringing chocolates back for you baby hahah.
{ Canphylia } OMG you're finally online! Haha miss you hottie!
{ WW } Canphylia is trying to be as cute as me.. Hurhurhur :D

LOVE, it's such a wonderful thing :)

By the way, there will be a DL dinner on 31st December. And we're counting down together too. So please tell Samantha Ng or me if you're going cause we need to book a table asap :) Thank you loves!

2006-12-12T00:20:00.000-08:00

I want to be Nicole Richie. Ha ha!

I want to watch Charlotte's Web! :)
The book was great, and I think the movie will be pretty good too. (Even though I think the book will still be nicer. Hahaha) I can't wait for the movie to be released! Heh heh the pig is oh-so-cute. OMG my love for pigs is coming back <3 Hahah I love pigs and cows. I want to live in a farm house in some countryside in Australia or New Zealand or Switzerland when I retire in the future. Okay, random :D

Had one of those "life talks" with my dearest two girls who have accompanied me for music lessons for the past four months. It's kinda scary just thinking about it. Like, I don't even know what I want to do with my life. I don't even know what I want to be. Why am I even taking business as my major? I seriously don't know. Probably because it's the most general subject and it is quite safe to say that it is easier to find a job if you're a business graduate because you're probably useful in every firm. I want to be a housewife in the future! Haha. Okay seriously, I'm scared of what's ahead of me. I don't have the courage to walk life alone without my parents as my guide. (Well, someday I have to learn to be independent and step out alone.)

What if I can't get a decent job with a reasonable amount of salary after four years of studying overseas? What a waste of my parents' hard-earned money. What if I don't have enough money to use? I have to pay for my own expenses really soon. I have to pay for my transportation/food/shopping etc. What if I can't earn the amount of money my parents are providing me with right now? Life would be so miserable. What if I don't even get a job at all? How can I even survive? What if my husband-to-be cannot provide me with the lifestyle my parents are giving me right now? All the "what if"s are overflowing my mind.

Anyway, music final exam was real shitty today. Got to study for my econs final exam.
I love my babyboy more than I love chocolates and ice-cream combined! <3
GOING BACK TO SG TOMORROW NIGHT!! :) Luggage packed and all set to go! Heh heh.

Had oh-so-sinful In-N-Out for supper!

2006-12-11T00:04:00.000-08:00

My lovely friends and I have decided to give up on our music final exam tomorrow because we really have no clue on what to study. Heh heh I'm sick of economics, it's really boring and I'm such a retard in that subject and this is killing me. I can't wait to fly back to Singapore! Gonna have so many sleepovers and everything :) With my darling girlfriends. I can't wait to cut my hair either. Snip snip! It's really messy already.

Was reading through the archives of a darling friend's blog. Brings back so much memories. How I miss those times. I miss the times in CCHSM. Those four years were the greatest times ever :) I miss the crazy times we had in class. I miss the late-night and "chicken-blood" class decorations. I miss mugging with my dearest friends at school or at my house or at parkway's burger king. I miss hanging out with parkway whenever we have nothing to do because it is nearest to CCHSM. I miss sitting beside the Chung Cheng lake and throwing stones in even though we were not supposed to. I miss the ordering of food to bring back to class because we were busy copying homework. I miss eating prata with the usual gang outside school. I miss walking around the school during recess or after school. I miss the long walks out of school to get to the bus stop. I miss the bubble tea shop and the wonton mee shop and the prata shop outside CCHSM. I miss the photo-whoring with Min Ru during lab lessons because we sit at the last row. I miss the dressing up for racial harmony day. I miss the practices we had for talentime competition. I miss how we would all rush to get tickets for talentime finals. I miss those trainings for total defence competition. I miss how we would all tidy ourselves up when there are news that there will be spotchecks. I miss those failure class outings (Haha). I miss those baking-under-the-sun sports meets because CCHSM was never given the seats under the shelter. I miss those basketball matches where almost the whole school would go and support the team. I miss Mr Soon's voice which would be heard every morning during flag raising. I miss the pinkies outings and Jesamel/ZLFPZ outings. I miss going to recess with Siyu/Tzu/Michelle/Yihui. I miss those postcard-writing and letter-swapping times with Laam/Sheau/Xuejun/Samantha. I miss letter-writing and chocolate-exchanging with Nicole. I even miss those NPCC times - the early mornings, the morning physical training, the polishing of boots, the marching under the scorching hot sun, the rushing because of the time limit, the good times our squad shared together. I miss going to City Harvest Church. With my lovely cell group.

Alright, it's time to go to bed. It's pretty late now. Feeling nostalgic.
CHUNG CHENG WILL ALWAYS BE MY SECOND HOME :)
I miss my darling boy.. He's the best boyfriend on earth <3

REPLIES :)
{ Dexin } Chill girl! We'll hang out on the 22nd, just the two of us :)
{ Ru } HONEY where have you been? I miss you like crazy! <3
{ Nicole } Haha aaw baby you always make me feel so loved!
{ Jenna } I dont even have your picture my dearest heh heh.
{ Abby } Hahaha SUNSHINE :) I miss you sweetie! HUGS.
{ Mel } BFF update me NOW! Hahaha you silly girl. Love you!
{ Samng } I'll start puking orchard again haha! I will miss the east.
{ Ziqi } Coming back reallllly soon! Heh heh I miss you confidante!
{ Josh } Stop crapping with me.. Hahaha where have you been!
{ Chuilaam } Yes yes! Haha I love you Laam Laam Durian heh heh.
{ Passerby } Why you miss steph and dont miss me?! Hahaha.
{ Glglgl/Bear/Pokerzor } LOL crazy glglgl. Heh heh :)

2006-12-10T16:28:00.000-08:00

FINAL EXAM STARTS TOMORROW!
Good luck to me and everyone else :))
[I'm really not in the mood to study]

Tag replies in next post <3

2006-12-08T00:10:00.000-08:00

I'm damn bored. I'm supposed to be studying for my finals, which starts 2 days later. I can't believe I'm going back to Singapore in FIVE days' time! YAY YAY YAY :) I can't wait. Hahaha btw, I received my birthday present from Samantha and Melinda today. Heh heh. It's the cutest gift ever - A personalized BIKINI. Hahaha on the card, they wrote "TO OUR BIKINI LAO DA". What the hell!? LOL they say I'm the one who introduced bikini into their lives HAHAHA. Damn funny. And they bought a plain bikini and sewed some stuffs on, which is really sweeet :) The thing is, they want me to wear it and pose and take pictures and send it to them. HAHAHA sorry bestfriends, I AM SHY!

I ate a lot today. Dont know why. Just very hungry hahaha. I need to study now :( Toodles.

Starbucks - Oligopoly or Monopolistic competition?

2006-12-07T01:04:00.000-08:00

Darling ChuiLaam is discharged already! YAY Praise the Lord :) I love you Laam. Take care of yourself okay. HUGS!

-

jazreeeeeeeel! says:
:( wo hao xiang ni.

LIMS ! baby i love you :] says:
wo ye hen xiang ni ;(

jazreeeeeeeel! says:
you teleport back here now okay?

LIMS ! baby i love you :] says:
i wish.. could you help me?

jazreeeeeeeel! says:
i am trying to invent the teleporting machine

LIMS ! baby i love you :] says:
:) okay hehe im going back next week!

jazreeeeeeeel! says:
lol. very long lor.

LIMS ! baby i love you :] says:
7 days only!

jazreeeeeeeel! says:
168 hours

jazreeeeeeeel! says:
:(

LIMS ! baby i love you :] says:
10080 minutes ;(

[ JAZREEL I MISS YOU!! ]

-

I LOVE MY BABYBOY :]

I wish I can eat all the food and chocolates and ice-cream I want, and don't get fat by doing so. I wish I have nicer legs, and smaller arms. I wish I'm a little taller, and a little thinner. I wish I have bigger boobs. I wish I have perfect eyesight. I wish I have a whiter set of teeth. I wish my jawline is not so square-ish. My imperfections - Now you know them all.

2006-12-06T00:23:00.000-08:00

More lovely pictures from Vegas trip.
Please don't mind my big fat arms.

Oh by the way, CONTINUE TO TALK ON THE CELL PHONE FOR AS LONG AS YOU WANT! Because a study showed that there is no link between radio waves and cancer. -http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061205/ap_on_he_me/cell_phone_safety

Oh, we're shifting to a condo in Orchard area.
And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

2006-12-05T11:42:00.000-08:00

I want to eat durian. Yumyum.

ChuiLaam darling, I miss you.. Get well soon <3

2006-12-03T20:19:00.000-08:00

I know I should be studying and not blogging right now, but I'm seriously dying of boredom. Been spending so much time doing my homework that I seriously am going crazy. I completed my seven page english essay which totaled up to 2100 words. And I finally finished all my four music concert reports. Now the only homework I have left is my two economic essays and my math homeworks. I CANT WAIT FOR THIS SEMESTER TO END. Just one more week left. Seven days. I cant wait to see my darling family, babyboy and dearest friends :)

Was looking at the poll results, and 70% of those who voted would rather be loved more. I think I would want to be loved more too. Because that way, there's a less possibility of getting hurt. Human beings are so selfish, I realized. Actually, just knowing that someone who truly love me, care for me, cherish me exists is a real comfort. Babyboy, thank you for all that you've done for me. I love you more than I love ice-cream!

Oh by the way, I read a news report about a 21-year-old Brazilian model who died of anorexia. She was 174cm tall, but her weight was only 40kg. Can you imagine how skinny she is? And to think she still thought she is fat. She's all skin and bones! Even modelling agencies send her back to Brazil saying that she is too skinny. I think some people are just so psychotic. I would rather be a fat ass bitch who will live for at least 60 years rather than being a skeleton-like bitch who only can live for 21 years. How did she only survive on apples and tomatoes and nothing else? She's seriously sick in the brain.

Tell me, which part of her is fat? Or which part of her even has meat?
Hello, that is NOT hot AT ALL.

This is what I call HOT - Jessica Alba.

REPLIES :D
{ Ru } Yeah I know I havent been going online. Haha sorry!
{ Dexin } Haha missing me like crazy right? Hehehe :D
{ NIcole } I miss you so much more! Where have you been!
{ Jenna } Haha you're forever full of crap lah hehehe.
{ Josh } Yes yes. Haha I cant wait to go back la! Got class chalet?
{ Mel } Aaw HUGS. I miss you so much too dearest best friend..

When you say forever, I believe.

2006-12-01T00:09:00.000-08:00

Hello hello. I'm here to say that, I won't be blogging very much after today because:
1) I have music and math exam next week, AND
~~2) I have one seven-page english essay to complete, AND~~
3) I have two economics essay (five-page each) due, AND
~~4) A three-page music concert report, AND~~
5) Final exams is 10 days away!!!

Hahaha wish me luck everyone. I'm so stressed up right now. There's still so much work to do and so much material to study. The only thing I'm looking forward to is the fact that I will be boarding the plane to return to Singapore in 12 days time. I miss my mummy and daddy and my little boyboy Patrick and my lovely boyfriend and my precious girlfriends and my darling S403!

Anyway I signed up for winter and spring semester today.. I will be taking Psychology 1 and Accounting 1 in winter. As for spring, I'm taking Business 1, Philosophy 22, Math 7, Econ 2. Don't know if I should take extra units for spring semester because I only have Business class four 80 minutes on Mondays and Wednesdays. But as for Tuesday and Thursdays, I'll be in school from 9am to 5pm. Haha oh wells.

TADAH, my lovely timetable.
By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONATHAN ONG! :D

REPLIES! :D
{ Ru } Bullying you is one of my fav hobby girl. Haha
{ Peishi } What's your new blog address babe?
{ Trina } Glad you had fun on your bday girl. Love you!
{ Josh } You remember my birthday!! Hahaha miss you.
{ Pearlin } You still want the iPod nano? Haha.
{ Jwen } What! Ballroom dancing is nice okay! And I'm updating!
{ Jenna } Hey how are you! So long never talk to you le.
{ Siyu } I got visit your blog one okay! Haha love you.
{ Canphylia } I'd rather spend time with you. Aaw haha!
{ Tyson } Jon?!?! Huh!? Haha crazy! And thanks for the bday wish!
{ Eunice } Thank you sweetheart! :)
{ Eva } Nga explicit la.. Gw anak baik huehuehue.
{ Jayl } Thank you dearie. Haha let's go out soon!!
{ Mich } Thanks for the birthday wish haha lovelove.
{ Mel } Best friend! Thank you for everything. I love you sooooo much. We're going to Venice soon haha! And you are going to come here for university!! Right right right? Haha or come visit me!! We'll have so much fun :)
{ Samng } You always bully me! Haha so mean! When you going US?
{ SamK } Aaw thank you sexy girl. Haha love you.
{ Estelle } Thank you dearie!! How are you?
{ Abby } Thank you darling. See you soon! Miss you!
{ Stef } Haha I know you cant wait to see me again right..
{ WW } Thank you darling! How have you been?!?!
{ Dexin } Thank you dearie.. Having fun in Singapore? Haha.
{ Iris } I miss you too darl! Cant wait for the next SSSSSS outing :)
{ Wenwen } Haha you and your crap!! You skinny girl.

I LOVE MY BABYBOY <3

2006-11-29T13:05:00.000-08:00

My lovely music teacher changed the final exam date from the 15th Dec to the 11th Dec because my flight is on the 13th Dec. Aaaaw I love him!!

Woohoo, I'm officially SEVENTEEN! Look at my friendster!
{ Female, 17, In a Relationship }
Hahahaha. YAY I want to stay seventeen forever.

"There was a lot of stars and guess what I thought of?"
"What?"
"You."
-smiles-

2006-11-28T14:31:00.000-08:00

The Vegas trip was GREAAAAT! Even though we spent alot of money (as in really ALOT), but it was really fun. Las Vegas is so bright and pretty! But it was reallllly cold, I almost froze to death. And we stayed at the gorgeous Venetian hotel. Saw about four couples getting married at that hotel. So sweet. I want to get married there too! Hehe. (Because the real Venice is going to sink and disappear within 10 years' time because of stupid human beings like us who cause global warming!) Will post up a few of the pictures later on cause I still havent received those from Bella, Griddo, Cherrick and Kelvin's camera. But the ones in my phone and Caroline's camera would just make do for the time being.

Oh by the way, almost everyone in the 26 of us saw K.Federline at our hotel. But I didnt see him! Haha oh well who cares, I dont like him anyway. We ate sooo much during the trip! I think every single one of us gained weight.. Except Sanny of course. (Don't kill me Sanny! Hehe) And I havent been getting enough sleep during the trip. Feel so dead now, but it's already 5.30am and I dont think I am going to sleep cause I know I wont be able to wake up for school tomorrow if I do. We reached home at 3.30am after a long drive of 6 hours from Las Vegas, and after a yummy supper at 2.30am. My butt hurts real bad cause of the long ride. Right, enough talks. Picture time! :D

The Venetian hotel

We ate at an Italian restaurant on the first night for Thanksgiving dinner. The restaurant is called Bartolotta Ristorante di Mare. The four-course meal costed us USD$120/person.

Then we had our dinner at Tao Asian Bistro on the second night. I LOVE THIS RESTAURANT! It's so gorgeous and the food is superbly extremely yummy. Especially the dessert which is soooooo heavenly. It costed about USD$65/person but it was seriously worth the money. I want to go back there again! :D:D

Then we went sight seeing and phototaking! :)

A view from the 112nd floor from Stratosphere hotel and where crazy people like my sister went to play the thrill rides they have. Who in the right mind would want to be hung in the mid air on the 112nd floor? Psychotic!

My fav place: M&M's World!!

Anyway, HAPPY SWEET SEVENTEEN TO ME! :D:D
Thank you to: Dad, Mum, Babyboy, Joshua, Melinda, Shu-Tzu, Min Ru, Ziqi, Sam Fong, Sam Ng, Pei Shi, Iris, Abigail, Michael, Eunice, Eva, Jayl, Michelle, Siyu, Jenna, Sam Kong, Chiaw Sang, Fredrick, Tina, Andeline, Stephanie, Caroline, Patrick, Sanny, Jane, William, Gilen, Cherrick, Abeng, Lidya, Pras, Canphylia, Estelle, Jun Wen, Tyson, Cheryl, Stefanie, Chrystelle, Valine, Priscilia, Felicia, Bella, Maria, Wei Wen, Diandra, Jerry, Eva, Nova, Trina, Santy, Pearlin, Charlene, De Xin, Jazreel, Jerlin for the lovely birthday wishes :)

Either through sms or phonecall or face-to-face or email or friendster or blog or tagboard, I really appreciate you guys loads. Especially to babyboy and Tzu for the overseas calls. And Melinda for the FOUR smses that you sent me. And thank you Santy for the cake you baked for me. And thank you for the birthday dinner. And the birthday surprise. And the birthday presents! Love you guys to bits :) I'm finallllly seventeen! YAY!

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNG SHU-TZU! We 'shared' the same birthday for a couple of hours cause it was 27th Nov here and 28th Nov in Singapore. Hahaha love you sister. Better keep the long long sms I sent you :D Enjoy your birthday and take care! See you soon! (Cant believe I've been with you for five years)

My birthday dinner. Yummy yummy!!

Birthday surprrrrrise!

Btw, I will reply tag replies SOON :D
Hehe. I will update with more pictures from birthday dinner/surprise/presents/Vegas when I receive them from people :)

2006-11-22T13:26:00.000-08:00

{edit}

Doing my English essay research on the "Indonesian Revolution of 1998" and I was truly startled by what happened eight years back. No wonder my parents sent us to Singapore back then. In the two days that the riots occured, thousands of people died and there was mass destruction all over Jakarta. About 3000 shophouses, 1000 ordinary houses, 400 private offices, 65 bank offices, 40 shopping malls and 12 hotels were destroyed completely. Thousands of Indo-Chinese girls were raped. The Rupiah inflated greatly, lowering the worth of the Rupiah (RP) to RP17,000/USD1 from the initial RP2,400/USD1. The Rupiah lost 80% of its worth. From being one of the country in Asia for having the most powerful economy, they became nothing. So we probably lost 80% of what we originally owned. I could buy five Gucci bags instead of one if they haven't been so dumb in the past. Haha money money money.

1000 plus profile views :)

{/edit}

Yes yes, I changed my blogskin AGAIN. I will stop changing it, I promise. I really think that this blogskin is uber gorgeous! I really really really want to take ballroom dancing. I think it's so lovely. I won't have the time to do so anymore. I'm going to be so busy next week. Loads of homeworks and tests and everything. Oh by the way, I'm so happy with my Econs mid term exam results. But I was pretty careless again though. Sigh.

Killing time blogging away while waiting for my next class to begin. We'll be heading to Las Vegas tonight, so I will not be around for the next couple of days. But keep tagging to make me happy okay? Make me feel a little loved. Hahaha. Will be back with truckloads of pictures then. I'm going to freeze to death over there.. It ranges from 2 deg cel to 7 deg cel at night. And 15 deg cel to 22 deg cel in the afternoon. Oh gosh. Anyway since this will be my last post of the week, there is one thing I want to blog about first :)

{112406} HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO PEISHI AND TRINA!

Peishi ; Darling girl, thank you for everything. You are truly God-sent and I love you to bits! Thank you for the lovely memories you've engraved in my heart. And for always being there, listening to all my rantings. Wish you and Jwen all the best. The oreo couple hahaha. Take care lovely pretty girl. Stay happy and cheerful! And remember I'm always there for you :D Now that you're seventeen, don't be so childish already okay? Hehehe little girl. Love you! I miss our letter-writing days.

Trina ; Horny girl, don't bully me already okay? Haha have a happy happy birthday with your darling boyfriend. Stay happy with him girl. So glad you finally found the right one for you :) Anyway just want you to know that I love you. Take care of yourself yup, Mrs Liu! I'm so thankful that we got to know each other. Let's continue bullying Min Ru together for the rest of our lives :D

Got to go to class now.
Random picture to end off this post.

REPLIES TO TAGS :D
{ Huitong } Hey pretty tongtong!
{ Trina } Yeah the house is lovely!
{ Yuanting } Tingting! Relinked :)
{ Josh } Haha aaw missed me?!
{ Ru } Aaw haha let's be lesbians then.
{ Jwen } You're forever not online, idiot!
{ Peishi } Relinked! Stop changing haha.
{ Samng } What's the dream about?! :D
{ Pearlin } Haha why didnt you come here!
{ Andeline } Crazy bitch! Haha love you.
{ Mel } Haha yes dearest best friend ;)
{ Dexin } COMING! You in SG already?

Baby thank you for everything. Loves.

2006-11-21T09:48:00.000-08:00

Friendster never cease to amaze me.
Boy, the discoveries I made..
This world is simply too small.

I think my younger sister is aneroxic.

2006-11-19T01:57:00.000-08:00

FINALLY GOT PHOTOS TO POST UP :)

I am actually supposed to be doing my music concert report or studying for my maths exam or sleeping now, but I'm so bored. And I'm so hungry (Yes I'm stuffing myself with food now). Keep telling myself to diet but I always fail. Sorry lah, I'm having gastric now what haha. Anyway me, my sister and Maria went to third street today. I finalllllly bought my red 8GB iPod nano! It's so freaking light I tell you! And it's reallllly gorgeous ;D Gonna charge it later or something I guess hehe. Bought a Zara top too. Wanted to get the GAP inspi(red) tee shirt but I tried it on and it wasn't that nice. Moreover, it'ls like USD$28. So yeah I didnt get it in the end.

It was like drizzling and it was so hazy. So colllld. Then I went to school for the Mozart opera thingy. Like OMG it was three hours long. Me and Wita were like super damn sleepy. But we managed to survive through it. My sister was such a bitch. She took my keys and she went to watch movie so she wasnt home and I couldnt get into the apartment. And I was so freaking pissed and upset and everything. She's such an ass la. Thank you Chrystelle for letting me wait at your place. And thank you babyboy for staying on the phone with me throughout and giving me advices and comforting me and tolerating me. I know I was very moody cause of this. Muacks. And I know that you're sick now ;( Sorry darling. HUGS I love you sweetheart. Thank you for everything. Wish I could be there to take care of you now.. We'll see each other soon k babyboy? Get well soon honey pie!

Oh btw, it's sooooooo Christmasy now! Woohoo I can't wait for Christmas ;) And I loveeeee the gingerbreadhouse! Baby can you get it for me pretty pretty please? Can our future house be like that darlingboy? Hahaha we'll live such a sweeeeeet life together ;D Hehehe.

THIS FOLLOWING PIC IS DEDICATED TO MY DARLING NICOLE-RACHEL LIM PEI SHAN ;) Hehehe O's are over huh! Love you darling! It's partyyyyytime! And time to shop for your prom dress hey lovely! Better show it to me when you got it!

Don't worry darling, I bought yummies for you already. Will give you when I'm back in Singapore so you better meet me okay! Haha. It's pictureeeetime!

REPLIES :)
Ru * Haha I will tell you. Muacks.
Trina * Yeah, but it's different trigo! Haha muacks, love you.
Jwen * Craaaap lah you haha ass ;D
Jasmine * JASMINE! Haha miss you babe.

Cause we fit together, like pieces of a jigsaw.

2006-11-18T15:12:00.000-08:00

I dreamt that _____ joined me and my girls for our sleepover. In the end, me and _____ slept in the same room and we started talking about stuffs. It was awkward at first but after a while, we actually talked like as if we were friends. And we even joked and laughed together. When I was taking a nap yesterday, I dreamt that I was on the phone with baby and I suddenly got asthma attack but my sister didn't care. And she just walked away. I was so pissed with her and I confronted her. And she pinched me and stuffs! What the hell? And the asthma was gone. Haha. I'm such a weirdo who have been having such weird dreams.

I hate my blog now cause it's so dead.
I hate my maths now cause i hate trigo.
I hate fattening food that always tempts me.
I hate being controlled on what to eat.
I hate gaining weight. BLAHHHHH!

Btw i'm so addicted to CORNFLAKES! And babyboy is addicted to BLACK COOKIES ;)

REPLIES :D
Ru * Haha yes extablepartner. Muacks. Take care honey.
Josh * ;) Yupyup. I cant wait to go back! I MISS YOU LA!
Peishi * I miss you too sweetheart. Havent talked to you for ages!
Trina * Haha yupyup. That's the point of having a blog haha!
Eunice * Haha crazy junior! Yes let's start counting down :D

LOVE :)

{ Happy 2nd Month Anniversary, Sillyboy! }

2006-11-17T00:10:00.000-08:00

Just another four weeks before we'll get to see each other again, darling. I can't wait, I miss you so much. This past month has been quite tough - with you going to field camp and anything. The five days that we could not contact each other at all made me realise how much I need you, and how dependent I am on you. I know I flooded your h/p like crazy haha. Thank you for sticking by me through thick and thin, sweetheart. Thank you for all the sweet little things that you do. You never fail to make me feel loved. I love you my number one boy :) I'm sorry for being such an ass just now, I really didn't mean what I say. I was just kidding ;( Sorry for being so blunt. Forgive me okay? I'll improve on my EQ hehe. I love you sillyboy. You make my life complete <3 Even though we're so far apart right now, you know that my heart is always with you. Hehe happy 2nd month darling :)

And the reason is you.

2006-11-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

Previous post deleted for some reason. I'm not a vulgar person lah okay.. Maybe just went I'm realllllly pissed off or something. I had the weirdest dream yesterday. Reallllly weird. I was like in a school or something. And in a classroom. My classmates were 4 Justice people. Samantha Fong sitting in front of me, with Gui Jia beside her. Then on my right is Chiaw Sang, on my left is Min Ru. Behind me was Javin (I don't know why he was there). Hahaha okay anyway the weird thing was.. The girls wanted to go to the toilet and guess what? It was closed! Because there is an alligator inside. Then suddenly my friends from SMC appeared. Haha super weird dream.

I'm so sleepy now. I want to sleeeeeeeep. School school school.

REPLIES :)
Josh * Thanks Josh.. Love you tons, dearie.
Trina * Yah how you know? Hint hint. Hahaha.
Dexin * Why so bored? Haha arent you having exams! I'm chilling!
Tyson * I'm reaching SG on the 15th of Dec. Haha.
Nicole * Dont worry everything's fine now. Love you!
Samng * Haha you crazy girl! Btw, everything is planned!
Jwen * Sorry lah, you more vulgar can? Haha. And okay la come here.
Ru * Nothing honey. Muacks love you!!

If only you're here to hold me tight.

2006-11-15T15:38:00.000-08:00

{edit}

HAHAHA guess what!! I finally finished the ten-page music research project. Not really finished yet, but I'm left with one page and to me I'm pretty much done. As for english, I just have to proof-read and edit my essay. Two, or maybe three, music concerts to go to this weekend. On Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Which also means that I have to write up THREE music reports this weekend. And I have to study my econs too. SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A NERD. Final exams are coming and Im stressed stressed STRESSED. Just another four more weeks and I will be FREE! For two weeks, that is. Before Winter semester starts again. Sigh sigh sigh. Sorry for the babblings hahaha. One last thing, I LOVE YOU BABYBOY!!

{/edit}

Fact of the day: My biological clock is very screwed up.
Promise to myself: I will never skip my music class again.

Really.. Only four weeks of school left, which means final exam is coming. I should start going for every music lesson. I dont want to fail my music class. Haha. Anyway I really should start doing my homework soon. I have so much to do this weekend. And I thought college was supposed to be relaxing. Baby forbid me to drink Starbucks everyday already. Haha fine fine, I know it's not good. Coffee is seriously pretty addictive.

Was looking through the list of classes for Spring. I want to take Cosmetology! Haha it seems pretty interesting and obviously it's more hands-on. Not as boring and dry. But I wont be able to find a decent job in Indonesia/Singapore if I majored in that. Boyboy, I want to be a housewife. Hahaha.

My idiotic cousin just asked me if I have webcam because he wants to see how fat I am now. Haha that's so mean! But he also said something which is pretty true, "Everyone who go to the States sure become fat one mah." I totally agree. Hahah freaking irritating.. Anyway me and my sister is watching 'Dumbo' now. Remember the elephant with the extremely huge ears you watched when you were young? Haha it's damn cute la. I want to watch 'Snow White' and 'Cinderella' and 'Beauty and the Beast'. Babyboy say we're going to watch them together when I'm back hehehe.

I just realised one thing.. All my relationships have never passed the one-year mark. The longest ALMOST made it but we broke up even before our 12th month and we were oceans apart anyway. So in actual fact, I have never ever celebrated any one-year anniversary before. Haha that's just a random thought. Off to do my work now <3

Another random thought: I'll be in Singapore in exactly one month's time!

Your Dream Engagement Ring Has a Heart Diamond!

You wear your heart on your sleeve, so of course you should also wear it on your ring. A heart diamond is the perfect choice for highlighting your passionate disposition. Only a true romantic can get away with wearing this ring. Luckily, that's you. And only a true romantic can give you this ring, so make sure you find him!

What's Your Dream Engagement Ring?

Start Hunting For That New Apartment

You two are ready to live together - and probably have been for a while. You're a perfect match, even if you don't agree on everything. What's important is compromise - a skill you and your guy have mastered. So head out to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. It's time for your new life together!

Should You Live Together?

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You give and take equally in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

REPLIES :)
Ru * Haha crazy girl! I tried talking to you on MSN yesterday too! I even re-signed in cause the message keep failing to send. Stupid MSN. Haha miss you honey!
Josh * Where got.. Haha I not zhong se qing you one okay!
Trina * I got tag your blog! Haha.. Update more!
Dexin * Haha good for you! Get it get it get it!

Cause you are the only one who has the keys to my heart

2006-11-14T14:40:00.000-08:00

{edit}

I was smsing with my mum just now and she said she just read my blog and bla bla. Hahaha HELLO MUMMY! I know you are reading this haha.

I feel the distance between us now.

{/edit}

TODAY IS A GOOOOOD DAY :D Which is why I'm blogging right now. Haha actually I'm in the school library. Just had Math class and currently waiting for my next class to start. Feeling like a zombie now cause I only had 3 hours of sleep last night. I couldnt sleep! And in the end I slept at 6:30am and woke up at 9:30am. [Caroline, the reason I ignored you online is cause I was 'asleep' hahaha. Later you tell mum and dad then I die lah.] Hehe. Anyway my younger sister is coming over to the States for holidays THIS week. Like, such a short notice. Haha crazy.

I don't know why but I'm in a good mood today Hahaha. Actually I know why. Cause {1} Me and baby's 2nd month is coming, {2} I'm turning seventeen really soon, {3} Just FOUR more weeks before Fall semester ends and I can go back to SINGAPORE! Wooohooo! I'm so high today, I dont know why. Must be the lack of sleep. Hahaha. I need my daily dosage of Starbucks coffee.

Super duper extremely sadly terribly broke now. I spent so much money today! [On something which will be kept a secret until the time is right. Hahaha] But I feel kind of accomplished today because I completed a lot of tasks! Just small random little task which really is good enough. Cheap thrills y'know hehehe.

I just found out that quite a lot of people whom I didnt expect will visit my blog reads my blog. Haha oh wells, thank you guys so much. Much much much love haha. Overflowing love for all of you. Hahaha and thank you for taking the polls guys! To those who voted for 'No' {Thank you for voting and for your opinion! <3}, we're going to change your answers to 'Yes' by proving to you guys that long-distance relationships DOES work out. Right babyboy? Haha I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART!

Just want to know: Is this font very hard to read? Should I change blogskin? Or is it fine? Tag me and tell me ;)

REPLIES {YAY I LOVE YOU GUYS!}
Ru * Means last time I'm damn ugly la! Haha love you honey.
Nicole * You meanie! I'm not gonna buy yummies for you hehe.
Ziqi * Haha thanks darling. Can you start updating me?!
Dexin * Aaw haha then don't buy the wallet la! Hehe.
Josh * Thank you dearest. Haha why don't I see you online!
Siyu * Crazy girl. Haha thank you. Love you les partner!
Peishi * Hello, you are the pretty one please! Stupid hubby.
Stef * Okay Stef. I will when I see you online. Haha.
Mel * Aaw I didnt know I smell that nice hahaha. Love you!
Jwen * Go and die. Hahaha I've been loving Westlife for 8 years.
Trina * Haha can you update your blog! It's rotting girl!!

Tomorrow and today,
Beside you all the way <3

2006-11-12T16:38:00.000-08:00

Know what, I'm seriously getting old. I only can sleep for a maximum of 8 hours per night and I would constantly jerk out of my sleep every two hours or so. (Compare it to the past, when I would sleep an average of 10 hours a night! And the longest I slept was for 15 hours straight. Without waking up AT ALL.) I think I can just go and die. My beauty sleep misses me.

Min Ru just told me something GREAT! I'll be reaching Singapore on 15th December, and she will be having her holidays from 17th December onwards. For ONE WHOLE MONTH! The timing is just so perfect. Haha I love you honey! 32 MORE DAYS :) Counting down. [It also means I am counting down to my FINAL EXAMS. Ohmygawd.]

OH OH OH WESTLIFE'S NEW SINGLE IS NUMBER ONE IN CHART AGAIN WOOHOOOOO! This is their 14th number one single and now they are third in the list with having the most UK number one singles. First and second are The Beatles and Elvis Presley. OMG WESTLIFE IS SO COOL Hahaha. They're the greatest. I havent heard the new single though. I so want to get their new album which will be released on the 20th November 2006. Love 'em!

REPLIES :)
Ru * I have great taste and I am a great influence HAHA.
Dexin * Haha spend on more impt things like what?
Jwen * Who cares if you're Cancer. I only care for Pisces. Hahaha okay anyway I think I'd rather get the red iPod nano. I don't think I'll get the video. You get la! Haha.
Josh * Why you whatever me.. :(
Nicole * Aaaw that's so sweeet! Haha love you!
Trina * What crap! See, your tag is still there!!
Canphylia * Just update your stuffs and send it to five of us! :D
Peishi * YAY I know! Five weeeeeeeks hehehe.

BABY I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU <3
Miss you so much darling boy.
Must love me even though I'm fat okay?
Hahaha HUGS you're my one and only :)

2006-11-11T01:25:00.000-08:00

I was seriously bored.

Your Love Quote

Love is not a matter of counting the years - It's making the years count.

What Love Quote Suits You?

You Are a White Rose

You represent youthfulness and purity.
Your vibe: Sweet and heavenly.
Falling in love with you: is like falling in love for the first time.

What Color Rose Are You?

Your Relationship Will Last... A Long Time!

Your guy is ideal, as close to Mr. Perfect as he could be. If you took this quiz, you may be doubting that.. Don't! No guy is perfect but yours comes really close. You guys will last for many years, as long as you appreciate him!

How Long Will Your Relationship Last?

You Should Honeymoon in Europe!

You are a traditional romantic at heart. With a taste for fine wine, museums and beautiful walks. You and your sweetie should get romantic in a cafe in Paris. Or get a Eurail pass - and see as many cities as possible!

Suggested destinations: Paris, Venice, London, Greece

Where Should You Go On Your Honeymoon?

You Should Be With a Water Sign!

Your best match is a Cancer, Scorpio, or Pisces.

Why? You crave intimacy and connection in your relationship. And while most guys can't open up enough for you, a Water Sign can. Not that you're whole relationship will be soul gazing. A Water Sign matches your goofy sense of humor - and desire to help others.

What Sign Should You Date?

My babyboy is a Pisces. Does that mean we're a perfect match? Hahaha :D

REPLIES :)
Ru * Haha aww. We have the same taste huh!
Abby * I miss you too sweetie!
Samng * What performance you got?!?! Hehe.
Siyu * Yeah it's nice huh! Haha.
Jwen * Cause I dont think I will watch video with it. And my sister got it anyway. Haha I just need an MP3. I think the red nano is pretty cool. And yes, 2nd gen nano is much cooler!
Tina * Haha stupid girl. Give you already!
Josh * Yeah yeah.. You're just jealous! Hahaha.

Omission is betrayal.

2006-11-10T00:02:00.000-08:00

Abigail was complaining that I have not been replying her emails for the past three months. HAHAHA i'm so sorry babe. You'll have weekly updates from now on :D Us and our mailing lists. Hahaha. Anyway here's part of a convo with Abby darling :)

*abby`//____________ let your will be done says:
LOL!!!!
*abby`//____________ let your will be done says:
you can NEVER be nerdy!

Abby sweetie, I AM already nerdy. Hahaha.

-

I have decided that I am NOT going to give up my dream of getting into UC Berkeley's Business School just because I am afraid that I will not be accepted. I have made a choice, that I will try my very best to obtain that perfect GPA of 4.0 and I will participate in AGS and I will do anything to increase my chances of getting into UC Berkeley. At least if I fail, I will know that I have tried. And that way, I won't have any regrets at all. As for now, I am going to work hard. I am going to put my 100% into my studies and I am going to get that A for my English class no matter what. I am going to be a NERD, just for you UC Berkeley. DETERMINATION (:

And, I am going to give myself a limit of blogging at max 3 times a week. This plan will be carried out starting from next week onwards. I am going to study hard. UC Berkeley, I hate you but I love you. And I can't stop thinking about you.

-

Guess? Watch In Support Of Breast Cancer

GAP Inspi(RED) Shirt funding for HIV/AIDS

BOTH ITEMS ARE OUT OF STOCK! Blooooody hell. I should have bought the Guess watch when I saw it the other day! AHHH I WANT IT! It's so nice and it's for good cause :D Haha and I like the Inspi(RED) shirt! I think it's sooooo cute. But yes, it's sold out too. SIGH SIGH. There's so many kind souls here in the States. Hahaha can't they increase their output?

iPod Nano Generation 2
{8GB, USD$250}

Zen Plus - Green
{2GB, USD$140}

WHICH MP3 SHOULD I GET PEOPLE?! I'm actually more attracted to the features in Zen Plus, it's waaaaay better. They have many many more features. And I like the colour too. The only downside to this Zen Plus is the small memory. 2GB - That is SO not enough. How how how?! I'm in dilemma :( I like the Zen Plus. And they have both of my fave colours - Green and orange! But the orange one has an even smaller space of 1GB. AAHH SUCKS SO BAD. I want the Zen Plus!! [I think the pink is kinda pretty but I can't find it online. Haha.] If I have to get the iPod Nano instead, I think I'll get the red one because it supports the global fund to fight HIV/AIDS in Africa. And it's more special than the black one. I already have a black iPod nano anyways.

Casio EXILIM ZOOM EX-Z1000
{10.1 Megapixels, USD$350}

Sony Cybershot DSC-N2
{10.1 Megapixels, USD$400}

Sony Cybershot DSC-T9
{6 Megapixels, USD$350}

AND WHICH CAMERA SHOULD I GET?! Hahaha they're all so gorgeous. According to the reviews I saw online, the third camera [Sony Cybershot DSC-T9] is the best camera out of the three. As in the quality of the pictures and everything. But I think the other Sony camera [Sony Cybershot DSC-N2] is soooo gorgeous! And it's 10.1 Megapixels so it should be pretty good. I need opinions people! Help me!! Can help me to research too. Hehe.

Econs test today was alright. As usual, she gave us one spastic MCQ question to give us 2 free points. Haha hopefully I can score an A this time round. School is closed this Friday and Saturday due to Veterans' Day! WHEEE :) I'm going to sleep in tomorrow. [And do my homework, duh. I'm a nerd.] There's this Indonesian party at some club this Saturday night. They booked the whole club. Haha I'm going with my sister and her friends. Hopefully it'll be fun. I'm not going to drink alcohol cause it's fattening and it will totally ruin my diet plan. Hahaha. And baby, don't worry we'll be fine :) I love you sweetheart. Hehehe.

Was texting with my mummy just now. She just bought a new Gucci bag! And I replied her saying, "Let's go to Europe to shop for Gucci lah. Haha!" and she said OKAY! To be more specific, she said, "Next year we go okay. You and cie prefer June or Dec?" WOOHOOOO! :) We're going to Europe!! I'M SO GOING TO SPEND ALL MY TIME AT GUCCI HAHAHAHA. I can't wait! But I want to go back to Singapore too. Hopefully there'll be enough time cause I will be taking summer class too.

This is a reallllly long post. I should really stop WindowShopping/OnlineShopping. It's realllllly bad. I'm broke already. And I can't resist the temptation of all these gorgeous stuffs. They're screaming for me to buy them. Hahah drama-mama. Anyway people, please help me decide which camera and MP3 player to get. THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU ALL :D (I will love you so much more if you buy the item for me.)

My bloody (bitchy) younger sister wants me to blog about her. Sigh what a waste of space. HAHAHA kay lah. The bitch's name is Caroline and she's a smart ass cause she got first in class and yay she's going to take pure sciences. Haha WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BLOG ABOUT LA. You're making me sound like some retard -.-

REPLIES :D {Make me happy and tag!}
Ru * Haha what you want! Stupid girl.. Muacks.
Josh * You know our secrets? Haha dream on!!
Tri * I'm good. Haha what about you? Takecare!
Stef * No you're not! Are you crazy?! Haha.
Dexin * How come?! Haha go back sg and buy!
Samng * What little girl! Haha miss you too :)
Cheryl * No way! Haha that's MY son's name!!
Jwen * Oh please, don't make me puke can? :D
Caroline * Aaw love you too! Study hard girl.

It's a feeling that you get when you know that something's true,
When I think of love, I think of you..

2006-11-09T00:05:00.000-08:00

I've decided that my future daughter's name will be Lovelle or Chantelle or Jovelle. And my future son's name will be Jayden or Zayden. Hahaha I don't know why, but this has been on my mind for the past few days. Love the names. Especially Lovelle and Jayden. Woohoo NICE :)

BTW, pics from Valine's birthday a couple of days ago!

Z I Q I. ((: says:
-.- is cute

[thelims] my silly boy says:
CUTE LIKE ME ME ME !

Z I Q I. ((: says:
NOOOOOOOO
YOUR NOT CUTE

[thelims] my silly boy says:
I AM UBER CUTEEEEE

Z I Q I. ((: says:
YOUR BEAUTIFUL :D

-

Z I Q I. ((: says:
would have been perfect if you were there
so u really still owe me a bday celebration
HAHAHA
i dun mind tickets to go visit u!!!!

-

Hahaha aaw Ziqi darling, you're so sweet and I love you to bits! I'll celebrate a belated birthday with you when I'm back okay? LOVE YOU HAPPY GIRL :) Anyway I'm like supposed to be studying now.. Econs exam tomorrow! Stress stress. I must get an A la. Haha. Okay I shall blog a longer post tomorrow :) LOVE YOU ALL *MUAHHHH*

And and.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TINA CHOI!!! :) I LOVE YOU! I won't ever forget that you're my first friend in Chung Cheng. Haha stay sweet and cute okay! [Dont come and BHB to me okay!!] Haha take care girl. See you soon when I'm back in Singapore.. -HUGS- Study hard! :D

REPLIES :)
Nicole * Hey darling, study hard! Haha I miss you too.
Jazreel * Muahaha you horny girl! SSSSSS hahaha.
Josh * You're just jealous cos you're not part of us!
Ru * Hahaha your name is always in my posts okay!
Tyson * Dont have. Haha thats a very recent photo.
Mel * OMG are you serious?! Gucci is the best la! Haha.
Jwen * I miss everyone except that ass Jwen hahaha.
Jayl * You crazy girl!! Haha I know how much you love me.
Canphylia * Yes! I love you and I miss you sooo much!

You keep me drowning in your love <3

2006-11-08T00:04:00.000-08:00

I was told that the temperature was almost 35 degrees celcius yesterday afternoon. No wonder I was melting. Seriously, it was the hottest day I have ever experienced. And I hope it won't be that bad again. Or else I'll really melt and die.

-

I MISS MY DARLING S403 ;(

BTW, I'M A TRUE-BLUE GUCCI GIRL! :D

You Are a Classic Gucci Bag

You've got style mastered - because you stick with what works
Like this Gucci Bag, you prefer classic items that stand the test of time
You're also a bit of a practical girl, who prefers function over fluff
You prefer a big bag, so that you can have your stuff with you at all times

What Handbag Are You?

REPLIES :)
Josh * I'm majoring in Business Admin. Haha.
Ru * Your blog is starting to rot! Haha my blog is boring.
Samng * Old woman. Haha yeah I love Gucci!
Jwen * Whatever Jwen. Anything you say!
Cleo * YAY I love you girl. See you soon!
Dexin * Haha go and buy! I know how much you want it.

You're my number one :)

2006-11-07T10:01:00.000-08:00

J.WEN says:
last time i like never really talk to you one
J.WEN says:
really hoped i could have talked to you more

Awww. Was talking to J-bloody-Wen online. He's going to scold me again. Hahaha okay lah. Besides the fact that he is very zhong se qing you, Jwen is very nice. Anyway I have this interesting website for ALL of you guys to go to - http://www.kookisushi.com/. Guess what it is? It's a sushi shop webpage! Not just some ordinary sushi though. Their sushi(s) are made of CHOCOLATES! How innovative and cute. I would loveeee to try it, but it's soooo expensive! It's USD$15/piece, including a plate which is also made of chocolate. So cool huh. I want to try it!

My MSN is being ultra-bitchy. I can't change my status to 'Online'. It's like whenever I change it to 'Online', it will change back to 'Away'. Like what the hell?! Haha the weather is really terrible! My skin is so dry, it's peeling ;( Oh gawd, I need my moisturizers! And I'm having pimple outbreak right now. Probably due to stress or the weather or something. This is so irritating la ;( Sucks like hell. I want to go back to Singapore!! De Xin is going back for THREE MONTHS lah! I'm going back for like 2 weeks only. Haha you cheater bug!!

Heard Ziqi's surprise birthday celebration was fun. I want to be there too ;(
Tag replies tonight :)

-

Happy 17th birthday, my dearest darling confidante Ziqi! No, I did not forget. Hahaha I even sent you a message at 12 midnight [your time], but you didn't reply me. So I'm wondering if you did receive it at all. Haha anyway, I'm sure you're going to have a great time on your special day. With your family, or your loving boyfriend, or our ever-so-wonderful class, or your secondary school friends. Wish I could be there too :( We'll have a belated celebration when I'm back in Singapore okay? We'll celebrate Canphy, Abby and Cleo's birthdays too. Haha anyway girl, I just want you to know how much I love you. Thank you for always being there for me no matter what. You and Canphylia will always be my dearest towning gang :) No one can ever replace the "Happy Three Friends" hahaha. Remember that I'm always here to lend you my listening ears and shoulder to cry on, and I'm always here to give you a hug when you need one :) Well, maybe not physically cause we're oceans apart. Thank you for all the wonderful memories you gave me. Hiphopjelly girl, have a happy happy birthday! I love you :) And I miss you tons. Stay lovely and stay sweet and stay cheerful for always! Study hard okay HUGS. Oh, and I want to be your bridesmaid! Remember that :D

2006-11-06T18:31:00.000-08:00

Darling Cleo, you're 17 now! Haha HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! :) I love you girl. Let's have another SSSSSS outing when I'm back okay?! Haha then we can celebrate all our birthdays together [A belated one]! And please start updating me my dear. I'm so outdated with whatever's going on in your life right now! Haha. You're supposed to share all your secrets with me! And the other 4 girls. Hehe. May all your wishes come true, smart girl! Study hard yeah.. J2 next year already hehe. Stay sweet babe! Even though you're fierce to some people. To certain people. Hahaha see you soon darling Cleo. Hope you had a great birthday this year. HUGS :) Miss you.

2006-11-06T07:09:00.000-08:00

I didn't sleep at all last night. Well, maybe just a little. I slept at 7pm and woke up at 9pm. I know myself well enough - that if I sleep too early, I won't be able to sleep through the night. But I just have to torture myself. I'm so tired now, how am I going to survive class later? Music and English - the perfect combination to make me sleep. Gosh, I can't stand English lessons. I dread going to that class. I think I should go downstairs and get Starbucks or something.

Haven't talked to babyboy for FOUR days. FOUR DAYS! I don't know how I survived. Only can get to talk to him 2 days later. I've been flooding his phone with smses. As in, seriously flooding.. Hahaha sent him like about 10 smses per day. Can you stop ignoring me and reply my smses!! Stupid boyboy. I hate NS. I hate the field camp. Deprive me of love. Hahaha I want my darling back!! I love you sweetheart :)

Talking to best friend Melinda online! It's like such a rare thing to catch that girl on MSN. And we've been chatting for the past 2 hours plus :) I MISS YOU MEL. Hurry come over for university k? Then we can stay together and do everything together! Hahaha. It's going to be so fun if you're here.. Convince your dad k? Anyway for interior design, it's better to come over here to get your degree. Hehehe and you can go to the same school as my sister!

I'm turning 17! Me, Sam and Mel made a promise last year that we will visit Venice together when we are 21 years old.. That's like 4 years from now :) So fast! Haha I can't wait. Me and Sam Ng agreed to go to Europe together in the future when we have enough money, and we're going to splurge on Gucci! Hahaha. Sam Kong and I are going to France together when we are 26 years old to shop. SO COOL. But I will be broke. Hahaha.

Anyway my sister and I made wonton soup for dinner today! We made it from scratch okay.. Haha and her friend say that it's quite nice. Oh yay! :) I'm so tired now.. I want to skip music class. Should I? Hahaha. I'll probably sleep in class. [On a random note, the sun rose at like 5plus.] Haha. My tummy feels funny. It's making weird noises.

Replies>
Ru - Haha I love you too :) Miss you honey. Update your blog!
Wenwen - No it wasn't sweet at all! Actually in my dream, you were so fierce can! Hahaha.
Josh - I'm coming back! Be patient. Good stuffs are worth the wait :D
Mel - Hahaha I love this watch sooo much la. It's uber gorgeous!
Dexin - Dream on girl! Hahaha good luck for your exams. Love.
Tyson - Haha it's not my birthday yet can! You lousy hehehe.

Babyboy, you're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with :)

2006-11-05T13:42:00.000-08:00

First of all..
HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY VALINE! [4th]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSHUA! [5th]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLEO! [6th - its already the 6th in Singapore btw.]
HAPPY UNBIRTHDAY TO ME & EVERYONE ELSE!

Hahaha I watched "Alice In Wonderland" yesterday and it says that everyone has only 1 birthday, but they also have 364 unbirthdays. So everyday is our special day! :D Yesterday was F-U-N. We celebrated Valine's birthday at Tengu (Some Jap restaurant). The food was good but expensive. 7 girls, USD$200. And it was only sushi. Valine's treat anyway! Hahaha they FORCED me to eat raw fish OMG. I don't like it. Seriously! Especially the texture. Oh yucks I almost puked it out. And the meanies took a picture of me and my horrible expression! Hahah.

We took tons and tons of pictures but it's all in Chrystelle's camera so we gotta wait. Anyway after dinner we headed to Century City to watch movie but the queue was so freaking long and the only available time slot for "Saw 3" was at 11.05pm. And those girls have AGS at 6am the next day. So we went to Third Street Promenade instead to eat gelato. It was so freaky - There were so many police around, so many homeless people, so many perverts trying to hook up females. We saw 2 men being handcuffed, and Jayl overheard the policemen's conversation. Guess what?! They were trying to plant a bomb there! Like OMG, the first thing I thought of was "This is like a real-life 24". Hahaha but there's no Jack Bauer to save the day :(

As we were walking to the gelato heaven [they have over 100 flavours for you to choose from!], someeeeone saw that there was a timing for "Saw 3" at 10.40pm and it was exactly that time when we saw it. So in the end, we still watched that horrible and gruesome and disgusting and sadistic movie instead of enjoying our lovely yummy gelato. We were only a few steps away from our gelato!! So near yet so far. Hahaha.

Anyway I LOVE YOU DAD AND MUM! My 17th birthday present from my parents is.. THE GORGEOUS GUCCI WATCH!

HAHAHAHA IM SO HAPPY! :D:D:D:D

Really damn happy lah please. Hahaha anyway I think I'm getting old :( I slept at like 5am yesterday but I woke up at 1pm. And in between that 8 hours, I woke up for like five times. I used to be able to sleep for 15 hours straight! What's happening to me? Haha old girl already.

Replies>
Happy Bear - Who is your lucky star?! Hahaha.
Ru - Haha yeah.. I'm so grown up now. Haha.
Jenna - Sorry lah Haha I'm not gonna change it.
Salty - Aaw thanks thats so sweet :) Love you girl!
Josh - Haha sorry lah. So fierce. Happy bday!
De Xin - You lame girl!! Haha how's exams?
Tyson - Haha its okay lah :) How's your promos?
Mel - I'm not! Haha miss you sweetheart :)
Kelvin - Hellooo.. :)
Wenwen - Haha of course. Guess what, I DREAMT OF YOU!

Babyboy I MISS YOU :(

2006-11-04T02:43:00.000-08:00

MY LOVELY DREAM CAR - LEXUS SC430 <3

LEXUS IS350 - The car I'm most probably going to get.

GUCCI IS MY ADDICTION <3

I especially LOVE the white handbag and wallet and the watch [That's the wallet and watch I want!!] Hahaha I WANT TO BE RICH. I want to earn loads and loads of money in the future.

I know I've never felt like this before.. You're like a drug you got me wanting more.

2006-11-03T10:51:00.000-08:00

Most of my friends' birthdays fall in November/December, which means there are sooo many birthdays around the corner. [Including MINE hehe] I'm going to be spending my birthday, which falls on a Monday, in school. With my music class and my english class. All the way from 11.15am to 5.20pm, like OMG how bad can it get? The saddest birthday ever :(

Haven't talked with babyboy for 20 hours. I MISS YOU LA STUPID PIG. Can you hurry get your phone back and call me or msg me or whatever? How am I going to survive for the next one week? You evil pig. Leave me here alone.. I miss you boyboy. It's bad enough that we're so far apart. Haiz I love you dear. Stay with me forever and ever :D

Just want to remind myself how fat I'm getting [Don't comment!] Haha I know I should be dieting, but they never seem to work oh wells. I'm trying lah, I really am. Anyway I burned my finger while cooking the other day. It's so painful >:( Now the skin is peeling and it freaking hurts and there's going to be a scar which is going to be stuck with me for the rest of my life and it's so fugly and I don't want it but it's all my fault for being so careless :(

I just have to survive another 40 days of school, concerts and exams before D-day finally comes! I'M GOING BACK TO SINGAPORE! Haha I don't think anyone has been as happy/excited as me to go to singapore before hehe. I'll only be back for 16 days though. Don't even know if I can do every single thing on my to-do-list. But oh wells, at least I'm going back and that's good enough for me :D

Oh a random note: I LOVE JAY I LOVE JAY I LOVE JAY! <3 Hehe it's not really random actually. Cause I'm like listening to his songs now.. I'm so in love with him and his songs and his voice and his face and his personality and his coolness and his everything. JAY CHOU is my life :D And I love Jack Bauer too. Actually I think anyone who watches "24" will love Jack Bauer. Woohoo he's the coolest man alive [In the show, but in real life, the coolest is still Jay Chou.] Okay okay enough crap, gotta go to school! *KISSES*

I think I've decided on the car I'm going to buy - Lexus IS 350. Cause my parents don't allow me to get my dream car - Lexus SC 430. It's kinda expensive, double of the IS. Oh wells, my gorgeous and wonderful dream car, I'm going to get you someday! <3

[ http://www.lexus.com/models/IS ]
[ http://www.lexus.com/models/SC ]

AN UPDATED TO-DO-LIST OF MINE :)

things to do/buy when im back in singapore:
[1] get a haircut and dye my hair
[2] buy a new camera - olympus
[3] buy a gucci/dior/fendi shades
[4] shopping spree at zara {hahaha}
[5] take neoprints with my girls
[6] S403 class chalet/bbq/outing
[7] bring baby home! {muahaha}
[8] loads and loads of sleepovers!
[9] major sleepover with canphylia
[10] manicure session with sam ng
[11] black iPod nano {8GB} hehe
[12] the usual people outing
[13] x'mas celebration at town!
[14] "24" dvds {season1-6}

places i want to go when i am back in singapore:
[1] vivocity
[2] the cathay
[3] east coast park
[4] windy height's
[5] meridian jc
[6] chung cheng main
[7] city harvest church
[8] far east plaza
[9] cineleisure
[10] marina square
[11] sentosa!
[12] anywhere with you (:

food i want to eat when i am back in singapore:
[1] roti prata
[2] the $1 ice cream
[3] fish soup
[4] fried carrot cake
[5] chicken rice
[6] pastamania
[7] la mian xiao long bao
[8] meepok
[9] bak chor mee
[10] hiphopjelly!
[11] long john's silver
[12] fish & co.

Takkan pernah terpisah itu ada di janji kita.

2006-11-03T02:58:00.000-08:00

It's 5 minutes to 3am. I can't sleep and I have class tomorrow. Babyboy's having field camp so we won't be able to talk or sms or whatever for 1 whole week. It's been less than 12 hours and I miss him like crazy already. His phone must be flooded with my smses hehe. I love you darling. We'll show the world that long-distance relationships do work okay? HUGS I can't wait to see you in Dec :)

I'm so bored that I'm actually checking on my horoscopes. Sagittarius people, you can check these out too haha. It's rather interesting, especially when you're bored out of your wits. It's like some sort of entertainment :D Wonder if the predictions are true.

[1] "The spotlight for you this month will be focused on private matters and you will be giving much thought to your personal problems and limitations and trying to find solutions to some of them. There is much emotional help that you could be receiving from your home front and this could come from unexpected sources. You are feeling some agitation concerning what you wish to do in order to reach your personal hopes and wishes as you would like to do much more right now. Help should come with this also right from your home place. There are many lessons that you are going through in your deepest self that are making you more firm with your personal beliefs."

[2] "Don't take on too much or you may end up disappointed. A problem will occur if you don't stick to the rules and regulations. Focus on what's important to you instead of spreading yourself too thin. After all this is a busy time of the year and you need to look out for your own interests."

[3] "Don't hesitate to talk to your partner about rekindling your relationship. You may get upset with peers or relatives. You need activity. Don't donate more than you can afford in order to impress others."

Got these pictures from Iris' blog. I think they're absolutely gorgeous and I'm so in love with them :) How I wish I'm in the photo with them. S403, I love you guys!

I still feel insecure. I don't know why.

2006-11-02T20:11:00.000-08:00

Alot of people have been asking me when i am going back, so im just going to announce it here in my blog. I'll reach Singapore on the 15th of December and I'll be leaving for the States again on the 1st of January. If the classes I want to take for winter session is full, then I'll probably stay in Singapore for another 1 month :)

I hate econ! It's killing me, seriously. And I hate the current math chapter - on inverse trigo graphs and double angle formula and all the crappy stuffs. BLAH sucks sucks sucks. So freaking stressed now, which led to this: Pimple outbreak! Oh, by the way, hope A levels chinese was easy. Haha or rather, I know you guys are smart and S403, all of you will get the A! :) All the best yeah.

Tagboard/Comment?

Replies>
Peishi Remember, we have FATE hahaha.
Melinda Aaw, I miss you sweet girl!
Josh Alrighty, meanie joshie. Hahaha.
Samng Stop lying to yourself dearie!
Nicole You want your yummies only right! HEHE.
Bear Changed hehe. Happy now, Mr Bear? :D
Ziqi Haha what lah. Miss you too! Update girl.
Tyson It means you've been to the web before haha.
MinRu IM SO SORRY! Sorry I was so blind. I didnt see your tag hahaha. You know I will reply you. Sorry honey, I love you *Kisses*

~~Been four years since we last talked on the phone, till last night.~~

2006-11-01T13:21:00.000-08:00

I wanted to upload pictures into my blog but blogger is being an asshole once again. Freak, i feel like changing to xanga or myspace or something. Blogger is always full of problems. I had music listening exam - which was quite disastrous - today. When I came back home, I went to the leasing office to collect yet another package for me and my sister. We received at least FOUR packages this week. That's how much we have been online shopping HAHA. Our letterbox was extreeeemely full and the postman (who happens to be there) was like, "Do you need help?" Hahaha and he said that he still have more stuffs for our unit, and true enough. We collected two mailbox full of letters and magazines today.

Oh, I was browsing through this magazine at the leasing office and due to boredom, I read my horoscopes and I was really shocked. Because I think it really applies to me. And I dont usually read horoscopes and all this bull. And Christians are not supposed to believe in this kind of thing anyways. But here it is, I'm going to type out what it says about Sagittarius (Hint: My birthday is coming!):

"For the past few months, some sagittarius have gone through a marked period of redefinition of self and more isolation than their usually gregarious nature experiences. This physical isolation from friends, family or loved ones has been a necessary thing in order for you to tap inner sources of emotional and spiritual strength. Circumstances may have compelled you to experience some sort of aloneness so that you could reflect on your life from a more detached perspective."

Yesterday was Halloween and my Econs teacher is so super cute! She dressed up as a vampire, wearing black from head to toe. And she had the two sharp teeth she customized. And she was drinking Ribena. And she used a "coffin" as her handbag. And the best thing of all - She gave all of us a lollipop each! Haha she's so nice. Was supposed to go to some Halloween dress up party at Hollywood yesterday but I didnt go because I have music exam. Such wrong timings.

Know what, I'm so extremely crazily madly terribly addicted to 24. Gawd seriously, Jack Bauer is the coolest man alive. I'm so in love with him and the show. 24 is the nicest series show EVER - everyone should watch it. You'll be so hooked on it and I can guarantee that every single one of you guys will LOVE that show. It's really really good. Worth the time and money. (I'd rather watch 24 than Korean dramas now!)

PS: I was searching Blogskins.com for Jack Bauer/24 blogskins, but there was NONE! Like how can that be? OMG. Someone has to do something about this! If only I know how to create blogskins.

Replies>
Mel That is my sister, not me! Haha and yeah, see you soon :)
Samng Yeah I know you miss me like crazy.. Right?
Josh Haha you crazy! Please organise a class chalet dearie!
Canphylia I'm going back, yes. Haha I will email you this weekend!
Siyu She's proud of it. It's even in her friendster HAHA.
Kong Alrighty. Come over then! Haha.

CANT BELIEVE ITS NOVEMBER!

2006-10-31T15:10:00.000-08:00

im in school now, waiting for my next class to start. hahaha anyway we really got back our math midterm 2 today and i got 99/100!! im super happy okay hahaha. but i lost that 1 mark due to carelessness. oh wells 99 is good enough for me :D i shall study hard for my next math exam so i wont have to take finals hehe. but now, i must concentrate on my music and econs. STRESS!

today's halloween and so many people dressed up! haha its oh-so-cute. seriously. my friends are going to a halloween dress-up party at hollywood tonight, but i doubt im going because music listening exam is tomorrow :( sigh what bad timing. i think halloween is soooooo fun!! oh anyway, another good news: IM GOING BACK TO SINGAPORE THIS DEC! for two weeks only, but heck. thank you mummy and daddy hehe.

replies>
ru haha aww i miss you too!
nicole my hols is only for 3 weeks haha!
dexin haha study hard! give you oil. [jia you]
bear hehehe i didnt mean it that way!
josh what lah. haha tough decision for me k!
abby yup! i want to see pics of S403! BLOG girl!

the love i found in you <3